A PRETTY KETTLE OF FISH.
"The King of the Belgians is understood to be acting as his own Ambassador in the matter of the North Sea Fishery disputes. His visit to this country is stated to have for its object the prevention of future conflicts between British and Belgian fishermen in the North Sea."—Times.
Mr. Punch. Ah happy to see you, mon Chef! Here's a mess!
You'll soon put it all straight, Sir; you couldn't do less.
Your people you'll find are entirely to blame
For the kettle o'erboiling, the steam and the flame.
What is there in fish that in every quarter
So leads—in non-natural sense—to hot water?
And why should a Billingsgate dame, or a trawler,
Or Belgian or British, so oft be a brawler?
A Saint once held forth, Sir, the fishes to teach.
What a sermon to us, Sir, the fishes might preach!
The sea's lavish harvest was certainly sent
Man's palate to please, and his hunger content;
Not, not, my dear Chef, as mere strife-stirring spoil
His kitchen to slop, and his cooks to embroil.
Verb. sap.—you are sapient, I know, like your Sire—
And—you'll take this strange "kettle of fish" off the fire!
"Mighty Polite."—Last week Mr. Harrington, Barrister-at-Law (in Ireland), was called to account by Mr. Eaton, and threatened with removal from the Court over which that Magistrate presided, for conduct unworthy of a Counsel. Had "the learned gentleman" had the advantage of the influence of another Eton earlier in his career, his manners would doubtless have been less deficient in polish.
A Plank of the Wrong Platform.—The Plank-bed.