TO A LADY DENTIST.
[It is announced that Ladies are to be enabled to take diplomas in Dentistry.]
Lady Dentist, dear thou art,
Thou hast stolen all my heart;
Take too, I shall not repine,
Modest molars such as mine;
Draw them at thine own sweet will;
Pain can come not from thy skill.
Lady Dentist, fair to see,
Are the forceps held by thee;
Lest those pretty lips should pout,
You may pull my eye-teeth out;
I’m regardless of the pangs,
When thy hand extracts the fangs.
Lady Dentist, hear me pray
Thou wilt visit me each day;
Welcome is the hand that comes—
Lightly hovering o’er my gums.
Not a throne, love, could compare
With thine operating chair.
Lady Dentist, when in sooth
You’ve extracted every tooth,
Take me toothless to your arms,
For the future will have charms:
Artificial teeth shall be—
Work for you and joy for me!
All the Difference.—The Statesmen used to be called “Pillars of the State.” Pillars! They now seem to contribute to its support little but endless (newspaper) columns!