A HARMLESS GHOST.

[A Gentleman advertises for an old house, and says, "Harmless Ghost not objected to.">[

Tell us, good Sir, what is a Harmless Ghost?

One who walks quietly at dead of night,

For just a single hour or so at most,

And never gives folks what is termed a fright?

Is it a Ghost that never clanks his chains,

That never gibbers, and that bangs no door:

But quietly and peacefully remains

In calm possession of some upper floor?

A Harmless Ghost is not a Ghost at all,

Unworthy of the name; no Headless Man,

Or other spectre that could men appal,

Would condescend to live 'neath such a ban.

No phantom with a grain of self-respect

Would make a promise never to do harm.

Find your old house, but please to recollect,

A Ghost who knows his business must alarm.