THE BALLAD OF THE EARL'S BREEKS.
"I am wearing a pair of Co-operative trousers."—Lord Rosebery, at Congress of Delegates from the Co-operative Societies of Great Britain and Ireland, meeting at Glasgow.
Talk of Dual Garmenture! Here's a picture, to be sure,
That a pleasanter, more potent lesson teaches.
Croakers given to foolish fright might take courage at the sight
Of Lord Rosebery's Co-operative Breeches!
For our Earl's a canny chief, and the timidest must feel
That by what he advocates no sort of hurt is meant;
And if anybody wants true co-operative pants,
He'll be glad to read Lord Rosebery's advertisement.
Co-operation now frightens very few, I trow,
(Who wear trousers); but a few years earlier? Bless us!
Such breeks would have been bogies to a lot of frightened fogies,
They would just as soon have donned the shirt of Nessus.
Now an Earl to Glasgow goes, 'midst the men once thought our foes,
And about Co-operation learns—and also teaches;
And receives with genial glee from the Tweed Society
A pair of Tweed Co-operative Breeches!
Why eighty-six per cent. (at Clackmannan) are intent,
(Nearly nine-tenths of all its population),
In a fashion fair as stout, upon fully working out
The principles of true Co-operation.
Yet there are no earthquakes there, and Lord Rosebery in the chair
At the Congress of Co-operative Delegates,
Talks in tones of hearty cheer, and the very thought of fear
To a Limbo Fatuorum calmly relegates.
Members One million men, with a capital of Ten,
And an annual sale of close on Thirty Seven!
Two millions more each year! Yes, it's truly pretty clear
That the State feels the co-operative leaven.
And though it is mere hum to see the Millennium,
Because Co-operators cheerfully co-operate,
Yet it is a mighty movement, and our hopes of Earth's improvement
May rise with it, at a prudent and a proper rate.
Pooh! the pessimistic dreams of pragmatical Earl Wemyss
May well excite this sager Earl's derision.
Forty Millions total profit! No, we are not nearing Tophet,
Any more than we are touching realms Elysian.
Those on Co-Ops so sweet and shopkeepers need not treat
Each other like the cats of old Kilkenny,
From each other they might learn, live together and all turn,
With sagacity and skill, an honest penny.
There's no need for any gush, but "The Principle" will push
As Lord Rosebery foreshadows to high places;
And it was not all his fun when he hinted we might run
Our Empire on co-operative bases!
They who want to understand what is stirring in the land,
Should peruse Primrose's pithiest of speeches,
Meanwhile Punch drinks good health to the "Labourer's Commonwealth,"
And long wear to those Co-operative Breeches!