HOW I WELCOMED STANLEY.
(Notes of a Very Important Journey.)
Left Victoria by special train. On my road met my dear old friend Brown. We were boys together. Nothing I would not do for him. Brown says the dearest object of his life is to welcome Stanley. Can't I take him with me? (This on learning the nature of my expedition.) He is off to Canada to-morrow—early. More sorry than I can say—impossible. Only invitation for "one." One, myself. He sighs and we part—it may be for years, it may be for ever. Sorrowful, but cheered up by party in special train. Everybody in great spirits going to welcome Stanley. Dearest object of everybody's life. To pass the time tell one another stories of adventure. Man who was in the Franco-German War explains how he would have defended Metz if he had been Bazaine. Man who went through the Soudan (perhaps a trifle jealous), says if he had been Bazaine he wouldn't have defended Metz at all, because Bazaine was a traitor. Row imminent, so cut in with my adventure in a life-boat. Graphic account. Ship springing a-leak; men at the pumps; boats given up to the women and children. The good ship—well, never mind the name of ship; have forgotten it—lurches, gives one long roll, and sinks! Remaining passengers, headed by myself, swarm up the rigging to the mizzen-top. High sea, thunder and lightning. Great privations. Sun sinks in red, moon rises in green. All hope gone, when—hurrah, a sail! It is the life-boat! Slung on board by ropes. Rockets and coloured lights let off. The coxswain calls upon the crew to "pull blue," or "pull white." Startling adventures. On the rocks! Off them! Saved! Everybody pleased with my story. Keep to myself the fact that I have only once in my life been on board a life-boat—when it was practising off Lynton. No more stories after mine. Company (disheartened) break up into groups. Pleased with the scenery. After all, there is no place like Dover—when you stop there. Glad I am not going to welcome Stanley on the other side of the Channel. London, Chatham and Dover Railway arrangements capital, especially when you are travelling en prince.
Ah, here we are at Dover! Meet Jones—of course, he is going to welcome Stanley. So are Snooks and Smith. And, as I live, old Tompkins! Well, this is very plucky of old Tompkins. Thought he was dead years ago. Says he would not miss Stanley for worlds. More would I. Great privilege to welcome him. Feel it most deeply. The greatest explorer of the age. But sea-air has made me a trifle hungry and thirsty. I daresay lunch is going on somewhere. Find it isn't! Deputation of Vergers, seemingly from Canterbury Cathedral, headed by a beadle, carrying an ear-trumpet, forcing their way through crowd. Police arrangements the reverse of satisfactory. Distinguished proprietor of influential newspaper hustled—possibly mistaken for Emin Pasha, who would be de trop on such an occasion. But must have lunch. Not up to form of Signor Succi. So avoid the brilliant but giddy throng, and find out a favourite little restaurant close to the Lord Warden. French plats and some excellent Grave. Know the Grave of old—seldom asked for, and so kept long in bottle. Order a nice little luncheon and feel rather sleepy. Luncheon ready. Do it justice, and fancy suddenly that I am in charge of the lamp in a lighthouse. Rough night. Ah! the life-boat! manned by old Tompkins (adventurous chap old Tompkins) Snooks, Jones, Smith and Brown. Thought latter had gone to Canada! Open eyes with a start. Waiter and bill. Bless me, how late it is. Must be off at once to welcome Stanley. Meet old Tompkins, Snooks, Jones and Smith instead. They tell me that they have all welcomed Stanley. Found him being "run into" the train by two policemen! Thought him looking very well. Didn't I? Ask, where is he now? Don't I know? Why gone back by the special! Thought I must have missed it on purpose. Hurry away in bad temper. May catch him up. Pop into fast train just starting. Scenery bad. Weather horrid. Fellow travellers unsupportable. Ah, here we are at last at Victoria. One satisfaction—Brown didn't welcome him either. Why here is Brown on the platform—do him a last good turn—describe Stanley. I tell him that the great explorer looks younger than ever, wears big cap, white suit, revolver and field-glasses. Every inch a portrait in the Daily Graphic! Brown says, "That's strange, as he didn't look like that when he saw him!" Appears Brown put off trip to Canada to welcome him. Can't be helped! Shall meet Stanley somewhere (movements advertised daily in the Times) and when I do won't I give him a bit of my mind, for not waiting long enough to let me welcome him!