NEW PARLIAMENTARY RETURNS.
We have been informed, on authority upon which we have reason to place much reliance, that several distinguished members of the upper and lower houses of Parliament intend moving for the following important returns early in the present session:—
IN THE LORDS.
Lord Palmerston will move for a return of all the papillote papers contained in the red box at the Foreign Office.
The Duke of Wellington will move for a return of the Tory taxes.
The Marquis of Downshire will move for a return of his political honesty.
Lord Melbourne will move for a return of place and power.
The Marquis of Westmeath will move for a return of the days when he was young.
The Marquis Wellesley will move for a return of the pap-spoons manufactured in England for the last three years.
IN THE COMMONS.
Sir Francis Burdett will move for a return of his popularity in Westminster.
Lord John Russell will move that the return of the Tories to office is extremely inconvenient.
Captain Rous will move for a return of the number of high-spirited Tories who were conveyed on stretchers to the different station-houses, on the night of the ever-to-be-remembered Drury-lane dinner.
Sir E.L. Bulwer will move for a return of all the half-penny ballads published by Catnach and Co. during the last year.
Morgan O’Connell will move for a return of all the brogues worn by the bare-footed peasantry of Ireland.
Colonel Sibthorp will move for a return of his wits.
Peter Borthwick will move for a return of all the kettles convicted of singing on the Sabbath-day.
Sir Robert Peel will move for a return of all the ladies of the palace—to the places from whence they came.
Ben D’Israeli will move for a return of all the hard words in Johnson’s Dictionary.