LIST OF THE PREMIUMS
AWARDED BY THE
HOOKHAM-CUM-SNIVEY LITERARY AND SCIENTIFIC SOCIETY,
FOR THE YEAR 1841.
FIRST PREMIUM.
MANAGEMENT OF LANDED PROPERTY.
To Count D’Orsay, for the most approved Essay on Cultivating a Flower Pot, and the Expediency of growing Mignionette in preference to Sweet Pea on the Window-sills—
The Pasteboard Medal of the Society.
SECOND PREMIUM.
METHOD OF GROWING PERMANENT WHISKERS.
To Colonel Sibthorp, for a Report of several successful Experiments in laying down his own Cheeks for a permanent growth of Whisker, with a description of the most approved Hair-fence worn on the Chin, and the exact colour adapted to all seasons—
The Pasteboard Medal and a Bottle of Balm of Columbia.
THIRD PREMIUM.
IMPROVING THE CONDITION OF THE POOR, BY INVENTING A VALUABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR MEAT, BREAD, VEGETABLES, AND OTHER MASTICATORY ALIMENT.
To the Poor-Law Commissioners, for their valuable Essay on Cheap Feeding, and an Account of several Experiments made in the Unions throughout the Kingdom; by which they have satisfactorily demonstrated that a man may exist on stewed chips and sawdust—also for their original receipt for making light, cheap workhouse soup, with a gallon of water and a gooseberry—
The Pasteboard Medal and a Mendicity Ticket.
FOURTH PREMIUM.
QUANTITY OF BRAINS REQUIRED TO MAKE A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT.
To Peter Borthwick, for his ingenious Treatise, proving logically that a Member requires no Brains, instancing his own case, where the deficiency was supplied by the length of his ears—
The Pewter Medal, and a Copy of Enfield's Speaker.
FIFTH PREMIUM.
AMOUNT OF CASH REQUIRED BY A GENTLEMAN TO KEEP A WALKING-STICK, A PAIR OF MOUSTACHES, AND A CIGAR.
To the Society of Law Clerks, for the best Account of how Fifteen Shillings a week may be managed, to enable the Possessor to “draw it rather brisk” after office-hours in Regent-street, including board and lodging for his switch and spurs, and Warren’s jet for his Wellingtons—
The Tin Medal and a Penny Cuba.
SIXTH PREMIUM.
FATTENING ALDERMEN.
To Sir Peter Laurie, for a Bill of Fare of the various viands demolished at the Lord Mayors’ Dinners for the last ten years—also, for an account of certain experiments made to ascertain the contents of the Board of Aldermen at City Feasts, by the application of a new regulating-belt, called the Gastronometer—
A German Silver Medal and a Gravy Spoon.