THE POLITICAL EUCLID.—NO. 2.
PROP. I.—PROBLEM.
To describe an Independent Member upon a given indefinite line of politics.
Let C R, or Conservative Reform, be the given indefinite line—it is required to describe on C R an independent member.
With the centre Reform, and at the distance of Conservatism, describe G B and M—or Graham, Brougham, and Melbourne—the extremes of the Whig Administration of 1834.
With the centre Conservatism, and at the distance of Reform, describe G B and P—or Graham, Buckingham, and Peel—the extremes of the Tory Administration of 1841.
From the point Graham, where the administrations cut one another, draw the lines Graham and Reform, and Graham and Conservatism.
Then Graham and Conservative Reform is an independent member.
For because Reform was the centre of the Whig Administration, Graham, Brougham, and Melbourne
Therefore Graham and Reform was the same as Reform with a shade Conservatism.
And because Conservatism is the centre of the Tory Administration, Graham, Buckingham, and Peel
Therefore Graham and Conservatism is the same as Conservatism with a shade Reform
Therefore Graham and Conservatism is the same as Graham and Reform
Therefore Graham is either a Conservative or a Reformer, as the case may require.
And therefore he is a Conservative Reformer—
Wherefore, having three sides, which are all the same to him—viz. Reform, Conservatism, and himself—he is an independent member, and has been described as a Conservative Reformer.
Quod erat double-face-iendum.
PROP. II.—PROBLEM.
From a given point to draw out a Radical Member to a given length.
Let A or his ancestors be the given point, and an A s s the given length; it is required to draw out upon the point of his ancestors a Radical member equal to an A s s.
Connect the A s s with A, his ancestors.
On the A s s and A his ancestors, describe an independent member S R I, Sir Robert Inglis.
Then with S R I, Sir Robert Inglis, draw out the A s s to G L and S A, or great literary and scientific attainments.
And with S R I, Sir Robert Inglis, let R Roebuck, be got into a line upon A, his ancestors.
With the A s s in the middle, describe the circulation of T N, or “Times” newspaper.
And with SRI, Sir Robert Inglis, as the centre, describe the Circle of the H of C, or House of Commons.
Then R A, or Roebuck on his ancestors, equals an A s s.
For because the A s s was in the middle of T N, or “Times” newspaper.
Therefore the rhodomontade of G L and S A, or great literary and scientific attainments, was equal to the braying of an A s s.
And because S R I, or Sir Robert Inglis, was in the centre of H C, or House of Commons.
Therefore S R I on G L and S A, or Sir Robert Inglis on the great literary and scientific attainments, was only to be equalled by S R I and R, or Sir Robert Inglis and Roebuck.
But Sir R I is always equal to himself.
Therefore the remainder, A R, or Roebuck on his ancestors, is equal to the remaining G L and S A, or great literary and scientific attainments.
But G L and S A, or the great literary and scientific attainments, have been shown to be equal to those of an A s s.
And therefore R A, or Roebuck on his ancestors, is equal to an A s s.
Wherefore, from a given point, A, his ancestors, has been drawn out a Radical member, R, Roebuck, equal to an A s s.
Quod erat sheep-face-iendum.
PROP. III.—PROBLEM
From the greater opposition of two members to a given measure to cut, off a part, so as it may agree with the less.
Let P C and W R, or Peel the Conservative and Wakley the Radical, represent their different oppositions to the New Poor Law, to which that of W R, or Wakley the Radical, is greater than that of Peel the Conservative—it is required to cut off from W R, or Wakley the Radical’s opposition a part, so that it may agree with that of P C, or Peel the Conservative.
From W, or Wakley, draw W T, or Wakley the Trimmer, the same as P C, or Peel the Conservative.
With the centre W or Wakley, and to the extremity of T trimming, describe the magic circle P L A C E.
Cutting W R or Wakley the Radical in B P, his Breeches Pocket.
Then W B P or Wakley and his Breeches Pocket, agrees with Peel the Conservative.
For because the circle P L A C E is described about W or Wakley
Therefore W B P or Wakley and his Breeches Pocket, is of the same opinion as W T or Wakley the Trimmer.
But W T or Wakley the Trimmer, agrees with Peel the Conservative.
Therefore W B P or Wakley and his Breeches Pocket, agrees with P C or Peel the Conservative.
Wherefore, from the greater opposition of W R, Wakley the Radical, to the New Poor Law, is cut off, W B P, Wakley and his Breeches Pocket, which exactly coincides with the minor opposition of P C or Peel the Conservative.
Quod erat brazen-face-iendum.
THE VALUE OF STOCKS—LAST QUOTATION.
During a rural ramble, the ex-premier was diverted from the mental Shakesperian sustenance derived from “chewing the cud of sweet and bitter fancy,” by an importunate appeal from a reckless disorderly, who was doing penance for his anti-teetotal propensities, by performing a two hours’ quarantine in the village stocks. So far from sympathising with the fast-bound sufferer, his lordship, in a tone of the deepest regret, deplored, that he had himself not been so tightly secured in his place, as, had that been the case, he would still have been provided with
BOARD AND LODGING FOR A SINGLE MAN.
THE LINEN-DRAPER OF LUDGATE.
Shop fronts are daily “higher” raised.
Our master’s “ire” as often;
Would they but raise our “hire” a bit,
’Twould much our mis’ries soften!
THE SHOPMEN—POOR DEVILS