TOLSTOI ON TOBACCO.
[Count TOLSTOI has been declaiming against Tobacco in The Contemporary Review, and this in no way exaggerates his views.]
TOLSTOI fuming, in a pet,
Raves against the cigarette;
Says it's bad at any time,
Leads to every kind of crime;
And the man who smokes, quoth he,
Is as wicked as can be.
TOLSTOI knew a man who said
He cut off a woman's head;
But, when half the deed was done.
Lo, the murderer's courage gone!
And he finished, 'tis no joke,
Only by the aid of smoke.
TOLSTOI asks us, when do boys
First essay Nicotian joys?
And he answers, quite aghast,
When their innocence is past.
Gamblers smoke, and then again
Smoking pleases the insane.
TOLSTOI, when he writes this stuff,
Swears he's serious enough;
Lately Marriage earned his sneers;
At Tobacco now he jeers;
Proving that, without the weed,
Some folks may be mad indeed.