HOLIDAY TASKS FOR THE NEW YEAR.
Emperor of R-ss-a.—To personally visit Siberia.
King of It-ly.—To come to terms with the Vatican.
Emperor of G-rm-ny.—To stay at home.
King of P-rtug-l.—To accept the situation in Africa.
President C-rn-t.—To forget the existence of Egypt.
King of Sp-n.—To master the difficulties of the Alphabet.
Emperor of A-str-a.—Between Kingdom and Empire, to make both ends meet.
Lord S-l-sb-ry.—To prepare for the General Election.
Mr. Gl-dst-ne.—To explain Home Rule.
Lord R. Ch-rch-ll.—To give up racing in favour of politics.
Mr. H.M. St-nl-y.—To re-write Darkest Africa.
General B-th.—To publish a balance-sheet that will please all.
Mr. Sheriff A-g-st-s H-rr-s.—To attend to his professional duties, and get through his official work.
And Mr. P-nch.—To bear as gaily as ever the weight of half a century.
SUGGESTION FOB MR. W.B. AT THE T.R.O.—Should Mr. WILSON BARRETT contemplate giving another Matinée of that out-of-date play, The Lady of Lyons, why not change its title to The Old Lady of Lyons? No extra charge for this suggestion.
GENUINE ORANGE BITTERS.—Police Protection to TIM HEALY.
