UNDER A CIVIL COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF.
["What possible chance would Col. X., Member for ——, feel that he had of fair play if he walked into the Opposition side in a Division?"—Evening Paper.]
SCENE—A Battle-field. Colonel X. discovered apparently dying in the hour of victory.
Faithful Aide-de-Camp. The enemy run, Sir! We have beaten them off on every side!
Colonel (faintly). That is well! (with a sigh) and yet my heart is heavy within me! Believe me, SMITH, I cannot die easily.
F.A.-de-C. And yet the vacancy thus created would be found a stimulus to promotion! Have you thought of that, Sir?
Col. X. I have not forgotten it, SMITH, and as a politician the idea is comforting. Ah, SMITH, would that I had always done my duty in the House of Commons! But no, with a view to obtaining this command, I voted against my convictions! I supported the Government in their proposal to tax perambulators! It was cruel, unmanly so to do, but I was weak and foolish! And now I cannot die easily! Would that I could live to repair the past.
Opposition Whip (suddenly springing up from behind a limber à la HAWKSHAW the Detective). It is not too late! Return with me to Westminster forthwith. The Third Reading is down for to-night! With a special train we shall be in time! You can yet record your vote!
Col. X. (suddenly reviving). Say you so? Then I will recover! I will do my duty!
[Exit, to vote against his Party, and to be put permanently on the shelf, from a military point of view!