A SAFE NOVEL.
(With Interpolated Notes by Our Own Legal Adviser.)
CHAPTER I.—THE LOVERS' PARTING.
The sun was setting behind the towers of the church of Greenborough-on-the-Driblet.
[It must be clearly and distinctly understood that this village is not intended to refer to any parish with the word "green" introduced in the title—all incumbents of such livings being the most honourable and distinguished of men.]
Two persons were bidding one another adieu. The first was a man in the prime of life wearing a suit of tweeds.
[Please note that the name of the tailor is not given, and it is not to be assumed for a single moment that this refers to any individual in particular.]
The girl, for she was only a girl, wore a costume of almost puritanical simplicity.
[Again no dressmaker is singled out for discussion. It is a purely fancy portrait.]
They were both in tears. For the hour had come for their parting.
[It is necessary to state that by "parting" no reference is made to any existing firm of hair-dressers.]
For a moment they were silent, watching Phoebus as he descended in his glory of purple and gold.
[This refers to the mythical God of Day, and is not to be confounded with a member of a well-known firm of manufacturers of blacking.]
Then they spoke to one another.
"ZOZIMUS," she murmured, softly, "and is this our last meeting?"
[The name of ZOZIMUS was selected for the hero because it is an uncommon one, and consequently unlikely to be confounded with any more frequently-used designation. If by an unlucky chance there is a ZOZIMUS, he is assured that the coincidence is purely accidental.]
"I am afraid it must be so, my ZULUWOLFA," was the heartbroken response.
[Again the name has been chosen on the same lines as the selection of ZOZIMUS, and the explanation above given may be taken as having reference to both.]
"And so you are going across the sea in a boat?" she queried, trying to smile, in spite of her blinding tears.
[No boat in particular is intended, and we have the author's authority for saying that he has the greatest respect for every official connected with the shipping interest.]
"Yes," he returned, sadly, "it is my father's wish, and I trust that in a new world I shall find greater prosperity than I have been able to achieve in dear old England."
[No reference is made in the above to any weekly publications, although, perhaps the World and England may have been taken as titles for Saturday journals. Before passing this passage, we received the assurance of the author that he felt the deepest esteem for the Editors of the periodicals thus inadvertently mentioned.]
"Well, my beloved, you will soon see me; and, dead or alive, I shall be by your side in the spirit."
[This passage is not intended to single out any particular firm of distillers]
"We shall meet again," he cried, pressing her frail form to his breast. "Indeed we shall meet again."
[It must not be assumed that there has been a misprint in the above passage, and that reference is made to any particular firm of butchers.]
And so they parted!
(To be continued in our next, after consultation with our Solicitor.)
WITHOUT THE COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON.—A few days since the Justices of South Shields sentenced a vagrant verging upon seventy years of age, to fourteen days imprisonment with hard labour—a matter to which attention was called when the Coroner held an inquest in the gaol on the poor old fellow's body. It would be interesting to know the names of these "un-worthies," so that they might be gibbeted as a contrast to the sentiments that will prevail when Christmas ushers in a time of peace and good-will!
A STORY OF THE SEA (told on the Beach at Brighton).—"Fine day for a sail, Sir!"