"WILLIAMS ON WHEELS."
[At Bridgend County Court, on the 16th inst., Judge WILLIAMS had to hear an action in which 50l. was claimed as compensation for damages caused by careless driving. The evidence of one important witness having still to be heard when the hour arrived for the Judge to leave by train, his Honour, with the legal advocates and the remaining witnesses, travelled together to Llantrissant, the witness giving his evidence en route. On reaching Llantrissant, Judge WILLIAMS gave his decision in the station-master's office, finding for the plaintiff.—Daily Paper.]
SCENE—Interior of a Saloon Carriage, shortly after the innovation started by Judge WILLIAMS, has come into general favour. Judge seated on portmanteau at one end. Parties to suit glare at each other from opposite sides. Usher, Witnesses, Counsel, &c.
Judge. Usher, that is the third time the engine-driver has blown his whistle! Tell him that on the very next occasion I shall send him to prison for contempt of court.
Usher. Yes, m'lud. [Exit Usher.
Facetious Counsel. The noise is so deafening, we might even call it a "part-heard case." [Laughter.
Judge. Well, let's get on. (To Witness.) You say you actually saw the prisoner mix the arsenic with the Madeira?
Witness. I did, m'lud.
Judge. Well, Gentlemen of the Jury, perhaps we had better, as a matter of form, have the prisoner before us. By the bye, where is the prisoner?
Usher (returning). I believe he's in the dog-box, m'lud. They had to put him there, he was so refractory in the guard's van.
Judge. That shows the advantages of this new way of going Circuit. A dog-box is just the sort of receptacle for a person accused of murder in the first class—I mean in the first degree. When do we get to Blankchester Junction?
Foreman. In a quarter of an hour, m'lud, by my time-tables. And I should like to say that most of the Jury wish to get out there—they feel the oscillations of this carriage so much. If your Lordship would sum up now—
Judge (with alacrity). Quite so. Blankchester is a convenient place for me to alight, I think.
[Sums up lucidly in about five minutes, and Jury at once brings in verdict of Guilty of Manslaughter.
Judge (surprised). Manslaughter, Gentlemen! Perhaps, after all, I was wrong in not summing up in the Booking-Office. It would have given time for more consideration. [Awful collision occurs.
Judge (at bottom of an embankment). Usher, Usher! I haven't pronounced sentence yet! Bring the prisoner before me!
Usher (wounded). Beg your Lordship's pardon—prisoner's escaped!
Judge. Escaped? Well, I can sentence him in his absence quite as well. Oh, dear, my back is bad! Those law-books came down on the top of me, I believe. The sentence of the Court is that the prisoner be imprisoned, when found, for three years.
Facetious Counsel (turning up from a heap of wreckage). As a First Class misdemeanant, of course?
Judge (catching the spirit of the joke). First Class! No—Third Class, for Portland! [Left on Circuit.