OUR FINANCIAL COLUMN.
Orl Court, E.C.[2]
I am preparing a big coup, and wish all my friends to be in it. My friends are legion, it is true, but they may depend upon me to do the best for all. Nothing on the gigantic scale I am now preparing has been seen or heard of in the Financial World since the days of the Flood, when NOAH's floating capital weathered the storm. What was the stock worth when Father NOAH once again touched land? Expect the biggest result ever known. I may be sanguine. I have the right to be so.
"PONY."—Yes. Buy A. and C.N.B.—Invest big cheque with yours truly. The only safe and profitable investment.
"D.A.H."—Don't you do it, or you'll be H.A.D. Send cheques here. Strict account kept, and gains delivered in cash by special messenger.
"A HESITATER."—Don't doubt for a moment. Sell everything right off, and invest proceeds by cheque with your friend."
"A.S.S."—The Dividend days of the "Ex-Nihilo-Fit Loan and Insurance Company are April 1, up to mid-day, and September 31.
So much for some of the principal Correspondents who require an answer in my weekly article. As for myself, I can only say that my motto is, "Confidentia Illimitata et Nulla Pecunia redditur." Within the last month the gross earnings of the office on behalf of my clients has been £12,345,678,910 which compares favourably with the previous month. Every penny of this, equal to 50 per cent. profit to every one of my clients, will be distributed within a week with a handsome bonus of twenty-five pounds to everyone sending in his coupon or cheque for fifteen sovereigns by twelve o'clock next Tuesday, after which hour it is impossible for any one, be he who he may, from Kaiser to Chimney-sweeper, to participate in the enormous profit which will have been honestly earned by
Yours truly,
CROESUS.
Footnote 2: [(return)]
N.B.—Note change of address.
SHORTLY TO APPEAR.—A Morning without Boots, by the Author of A Knight without Spurs.