MEDICINAL MUSIC.
(A Growl from a "Quiet Street.")
["There is a disposition just now to revive discussion upon a very old subject, namely the curative influence of Music in cases of mental and bodily disease."—Daily Telegraph.]
Curative Music? Just as well expect
An Influenza-cure from Demogorgon!
Some dolts there be, no doubt, who would detect
Anodyne influence in a barrel-organ;
A febrifuge in a flat German Band,
A prophylactic in a street-piano!
Some quackery a man can understand,
But Music I'll not take, even cum grano.
I don't believe what classic noodles say,
That Music stopped the hæmorrhage of ULYSSES;
That CATO'S stiffened joints attained free play
From harmony of sounds. Such "rot" sense hisses.
I'd just as soon believe the Theban walls
Were twangled into place by young Amphion.
Bah! Minds made sane by Music's scrapes and squalls?
Not mine, though the lyre-thrumber were Arion.
Drums, trumpets, fiddles, organs—all are bad.
And vocal fireworks are far worse than vanity.
Stop, though! I'm sane, and they just drive me mad;
So Music may drive idiots into sanity!
