A "KNOT"ICAL STORY OF DRURY LANE.
(Told by our aged Salt, with a taste for the Dibdin Drama.)
What, not remember it! Not the scene on Wapping Old Stairs and Mr. CHARLES GLENNEY in the Merchant Service, and Miss MILLWARD the Ward of Count GURNEY DELAUNAY! Not remember all that! Not recollect the pretty set with the River, the boat-house, and the figure-heads! Ah, tell it to the Marines! Not that they would believe you! I remember it, and a good deal more. Now it came about in this way. You see Miss MILLWARD thought that Lieutenant CHARLES WARNER, R.N.—"her sweetheart as a boy"—was dead, and, like a sensible young lady, made arrangements to marry his foster-brother, meaning GLENNEY. This she would have done most comfortably, had not the Count and a Boat-builder, one JULIAN CROSS PENNYCAD, objected. But after all, their opposition wouldn't have come to much hadn't Lieutenant CHARLES WARNER, R.N., taken it into his head to turn up from the Centre of Africa, or the Cannibal Islands, or somewhere. On second thoughts I don't think it could have been the Cannibal Islands, because there they would have certainly eaten him—he looked so plump, and in such excellent condition. Well, Lieutenant WARNER, R.N., finding that Miss MILLWARD was on the eve of marrying Mr. GLENNEY, most nobly made room for his foster-brother, and hurried back to sea. But as luck (and Mr. HENRY PETTIT) would have it, just as the lady and gentleman were on their way to Stepney Old Church to be spliced, who should turn up in a uniform that showed him to be a fine figure of a man but Lieutenant WARNER, R.N., himself—with the Press Gang. It turned out that Lieutenant WARNER's ship was very under-manned, and that he had been ordered by his Captain to get all the sailors he could on board H.M.S. Dauntless—a vessel, by the way, that afterwards proved to be the very image of the Victory. And here came a complication. Through the treachery of JULIAN CROSS PENNYCAD, Lieutenant WARNER seized Mr. GLENNEY just as he and Miss MILLWARD were entering Stepney Old Church. Says Mr. GLENNEY to Lieutenant WARNER, "What, taking me, because you are jealous of me, on my wedding-day! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" or words to that effect. Says Lieutenant WARNER, R.N., to Mr. GLENNEY, "Nothing of the sort. For the man who would betray another, save in the way of kindness, on his bridal morn, is unworthy of the name of a British sailor," or words to that effect. Then Miss MILLWARD chimed in, and thus touched the heart of Lieutenant WARNER, R.N., so deeply that he ordered Mr. GLENNEY's immediate release. "I forget my duty," explained the generous WARNER. "But I don't," put in his superior officer, Captain WILLIAM LUGG VERNON, "and I order that man to be carried on board!" and there was not a dry eye amongst those present, except, perhaps, amongst the heartless "Press Gang," who, having to write notices for the daily and weekly papers, were naturally eager to see what "In the Fo'castle" and "The Deck of the Dauntless" were like. And these they did see in the next Act of this really capital Drama. And here came in a scene that will long be remembered to the honour of the British Navy and the National and Royal Theatre, Drury Lane. There came a mutiny, with the misguided GLENNEY at the head of it. Said Captain WILLIAM LUGG VERNON, after it was quelled, "We can't spare a man, and so I shall have Mr. GLENNEY flogged." "Don't do that," cried Lieutenant WARNER; "he is my brother and my friend, although he has given me a oner, owing to a misunderstanding. Captain, may I appeal to these men, and ask them in stirring language, to fight the foe." "You shall," replied his superior officer; "and, by arrangement with Mr. HENRY PETTITT, I will see that 'Rule Britannia' is played softly by an efficient orchestra while you are speaking to them." "A thousand thanks!" cried the eloquent WARNER; and then he let them have it. He told them that the enemy were waiting for them—that they had left Brest for the purpose of engaging in a first-class naval engagement. He pointed out that the other ships of the Fleet were on their way to the scrimmage. "Would the gallant Dauntless be the only laggard?" "No!" shouted the now-amenable-to-naval-discipline GLENNEY, and with the rest of the malcontents, he asked to be led to glory. It was indeed stirring to see the red-coats waving their hats on the tops of their bayonets, and the Blue Jackets brandishing their swords. In the enthusiasm of the moment, the entire ship's company seemed to have lost their heads, and cheers came from the deck, and the auditorium equally. It was a moment of triumph for everyone concerned! Everyone! And need I say anything more? Need I tell you how it came right in the end? How Miss MILLWARD (who was always on the eve of being married to someone) did actually go through a civil ceremony (the French were polite even in the days before Waterloo) with the Count, which, however, failed to count (as an old wag, with a taste for ancient jests, observed to a brother droll), because the Gallic nobleman got killed immediately after the ceremony? Need I hint that Mr. GLENNEY was falsely accused of murder, to be rescued at the right moment by the ever-useful and forgiving WARNER? Need I say that Mr. HENRY PETTITT was cheered to the echo for his piece, and Sir AUGUSTUS DRURIOLANUS for his stage management? No, for other chronicles have given the news already; and it is also superfluous to describe the fun of those excellent comedians, Mr. HARRY NICHOLLS and Miss FANNY BROUGH. All I can say is, if you want to see a good piece, well mounted, and capitally acted all round, why go to Old Drury, and you will agree with me (and the old wag with a taste for ancient jests) that Sir AUGUST-US might add September, October, November, and December to his signature, as A Sailor's Knot seems likely to remain tied to the Knightly Boards until it is time to produce the Christmas Pantomime. So heave away, my hearties, and good luck to you!
SONGS FOR THE PRO. AND CON. THEOSOPHICAL CONTROVERSIALISTS.—"All round Mahatmas," "He's a jolly good Chela!" "Row, Brothers, Row!" and "Why did my 'Masters' sell me?"
