HOW THEY BRING THE GOOD NEWS!
All the papers teeming
With, the news of DEEMING
On the shore or ship;
Telling of his tearing
Hair that he was wearing
From his upper lip.
(T-SS-D, rush! Pursue it!
Buy it, bring it, glue it
On your model! Quick!)
Telling how he's looking,
How he likes the cooking,—
Bah, it makes one sick!
Telling of his bearing,
How the crowds are staring,
What may be his fate,
Just what clothes he wore the
Days he came before the
Local Magistrate.
And, verbatim printed
All he's said or hinted
As to any deeds;
Such a chance as this is
Not a paper misses!
Everybody reads!
Would they give such latest
News of best and greatest
Folks? What's that you say?
Who would read of virtue,
Or such news insert? You
Know it would not pay.
So, demand creating
Such supply, they're stating
All that they can tell;
Spite of School-Board teaching,
Culture, science, preaching,
This is sure to sell.
