UNASKED.
Unasked, the Tax-Collector wild
Presents to smirking MARY his
Demand—on what the Roman styled
"Kalendis Januariis."
Unasked, a Christmas-box to gain,
Sweeps, lamplighters, and postmen come;
Unasked—too often to remain—
The wife's mammas of most men come.
Unasked, it looms—that ophicleide
From Germany, with melodies
Whereat the cow of story died;
Whereat a modern fellow dies.
Unasked, partakes my Christmas cheer,
(Whom oft, my front-door bell at, I've
Surprised, the better much for beer)—
My Cook's fraternal relative.
Unasked, my bills appear in shoals,
"With compliments" from creditors;
Unasked, in verse I send my soul's
Throbs—with a stamp—to Editors.
Unasked, that editorial pack
Return my "throbs" in heavy, new,
Crisp envelopes, unstamped, alack!
While I defray the Revenue.
MRS. RAM's nephew was reading aloud the prospectus of the Clerical, Medical, and General Life Assurance Society. She was much impressed by the idea of Clerical Assurance, and expressed herself greatly pleased at the Ven. Archdeacon FARRAR being one of the Directors. "But what puzzles me," observed the excellent lady, "is a paragraph headed 'Disposal of the Surplice.' I know that, years ago, there was a 'surplice difficulty.' But I thought that had been disposed of. Or," she added, brightening up, as if struck by a happy solution of the difficulty, "does it mean that the Clerical Assurance Society means to take in washing? Most useful if they do, and so paying."
DEFINITION OF "CHAFF."—The husk of Wit.
