THE OPERA IN THE FUTURE.
(As suggested by "Musical Paupers.")
SCENE—Interior of Covent Garden on a Subscription Night. The house is filled in the parts reserved for Subscribers. The remainder of the Auditorium is less crowded. The Overture is over, when there is a loud cry for the Manager. Enter before the Curtain Courteous Gentleman, who bows, and waits in an attitude of respectful attention.
Person in the Amphitheatre. I say, Mister, look 'ere, after charging me sixpence for a seat, I'm 'anged if they don't want an extra penny for a bill of the play.
Courteous Gentleman. Highly improper, Sir. I will look into the matter to-morrow, and if you are kind enough to identify the attendant who has attempted this overcharge, I will have him dismissed. And now, with your permission, your Royal Highnesses, my Lords, Ladies, and Gentlemen, we will go on with the Musical performances.
[The Opera continues. At the end of the Third Act there is another cry for the Manager. The Courteous Gentleman re-enters before the Curtain, as before.
Very Stout Person in the Amphitheatre Stalls. I say, look here—I paid two shillings for this seat, and the back's coming off.
Cour. Gen. Perhaps, Sir, you have been leaning with a weight it is unable to bear.
Very S.P. Never mind about that. As I pay two shillings for my seat, I expect you to stop the show until it's mended.
Cour. Gen. As the show (as you call it, Sir) costs about two pounds a minute, I fear that would be rather an extravagant proceeding. If I may suggest, I would counsel you to change your seat to a more perfect one.
Very S.P. I like that! and get turned out by someone who had reserved it. No, thankee! But there, after all, I am rather heavy, so let's say no more about it.
Cour. Gen. I am infinitely obliged to you.
[Exit. The Opera continues until the commencement of the last Act, when there is a frantic cry for the Manager. The Courteous Gentleman again appears before the Curtain.
Voices from the Cheaper Parts of the House. Here, cut it short! Let's get to the end. Let's see how the story finishes!
Cour. Gent. I am at your disposal.
Spokesman. Well, look here, Mister. There's a lot of us here who want to catch the 11.40 train, so can't you cut the performance?
Cour. Man. Although your proposal, Sir, may cause some trouble and complications, I will honestly do my best. [Bows and exit.
Curtain.