THE BEWILDERED TOURIST AND THE RIVAL SIRENS.
(A long way after Tennyson's "The Deserted House.")
"June and July have passed away,
Like a tide.
Doors are open, windows wide.
Why in stuffy London stay?"
Sing the Sirens (slyboots they!)
With a Tennysonian twang,
To the Tourist,
(Not the poorest
You may bet your bottom dollar,
Which those Sirens aim to "collar."
Demoiselles, excuse the slang!)
"All within is dark as night,
In Town's windows is no light,
And no caller at your door,
Swell or beggar, chum or bore!
Close the door, the shutters close,
Or thro' windows folks will see,
The nakedness and vacancy,
Of the dark deserted house!"
"Come away! no more of mirth
Is here, or merry-making sound.
The house is shut, and o'er the earth
Man roves upon the Regular Round
Come away! Life, Love, Trade, Thought,
Here no longer dwell;
Shopkeepers censorious
Sigh, "What swells would buy, they've bought.
They are off! No more we'll sell.
Would they could have stayed with us!"
"Come away!" So Sirens sing—
Sly, seducious, and skittish—
To the Tourist, wealthy, British,
When Society's on the wing,
Or should be, for "Foreign Parts."
British BULL mistrusts their arts.
"Come away!"
(One doth say),
"Our Emperor is quiet to-day!"
Cries another,
"Come, my brother,
"Avalanches down again!"
Sings a third, with beckoning fingers,
"Come, come, where the Cholera lingers."
While a fourth—is it her fun?—
With the wide blue eyes of Hope
(As though advertising Soap),
Shouts, with glee,
"Come with me,
Unto Norroway, o'er the foam,
Far from home,
Wait there to see
Our (invisible) Midnight Sun!"
BULL, the tweed-clad British Tourist,
Muses—"Home seems the securest,
On the whole. Why widely ramble,
Tramp, and climb, and spend, and gamble,
Face infection, dulness, danger,
All the woe that waits "the Stranger,"
And the Tourist (rich) environs,
At the call of foreign Sirens,
When home charmers, bright-eyed, active,
Offer "metal more attractive?"
Four such darlings who'll discover
O'er the seas? Shall I, their lover,
Still discard them for yon minxes,
Harpies with the eyes of "lynxes"?
ALBION dear, and CAMBRIA mild,
CALEDONIA stern and wild,
As your poet said, but pretty;
HIBEBNIA mavourneen, jetty-
Hair'd, and azure-eyed, I greet ye!
Darlings, I am charmed to meet ye.
Why go wandering o'er the foam,
Like a latter-day ULYSSES,
When warm charms and wooing-kisses
Of such Sirens Four wait me at home?"
