ADVICE TO THE G.O.M.

Take forty-two, and carry eight

(Eight hours, I mean), then mind your eye;

Bring all your items up to date,

And do your best to multiply

Your sheep by next subtracting votes

From over-suffraged Tory goats.

By Registration Law perplexed,

Take "qualifying periods" next,

And at one swoop reduce with glee

Twelve months, or more, to only three.

Add labour to your motley crew,

Subtract (from life) a church or two.

Produce, with geometric skill,

The lines of many a promised bill.

But state—the Unionists to vex—

That Home Rule always equals x.

Raise, in a rash, disastrous hour,

Campaigning Ireland to a power.

And thus, to prayers and protests deaf,

Bisect the Empire. Q.E.F.