A POOR ROAD TO LEARNING.
SCENE—Interior of a School Board Office. Official discovered hard at work, doing single-handed in London what is done by nearly a thousand officials combined in "Bonnie Scotland." Enter Female Applicant, with infant.
Applicant. Please, Sir, here's my boy. Can you take him?
Official. Certainly. Has he had any education?
App. Well, as he's rising five, not much.
Off. But does he know anything? For instance, has he learned any English history?
App. Not that I know of.
Off. Has he dipped into geography?
App. Well, I don't think he has.
Off. Can he cipher at all?
App. Not very well.
Off. Does he know what two and two make?
App. Well, he has never said he does.
Off. Can he write?
App. Well, no, he doesn't write.
Off. But I suppose he can read? Come, he at least can read?
App. Well, no, Sir, I am afraid he's not much of a scholar. I don't think he can read.
Off. Then he is absolutely ignorant—miserably ignorant.
App. Very likely, Sir,—you know best.
Off. Well, now, my good woman, I will tell you what we will do with him. We will teach him to read, write, and cipher, and give him an excellent education.
App. And you will take care of him, Sir?
Off. Of course we will take care of him; and as for his education, we will—
App. Oh, Sir, so long as you looks after him, never you mind about his education!
[Exit infantless.