A HINT TO EDITORS.
SCENE—The Sanctum of a Newspaper Office. Editor discovered (by Obtrusive Visitor) hard at work.
Obtrusive Visitor. I trust that I have not come at an unfortunate moment?
Editor (looking up from his desk). Dear me! You here! Delighted to see you. But don't let me disturb you. Good-bye!
Ob. Vis. (seating himself). No; I am afraid it is the other way. I know at this time of the week you must be exceptionally busy.
Ed. (with courteous impatience). Not at all, but—
Ob. Vis. Oh! thank you so much. Because it is the very last thing in the world I would like to do—to disturb you. And now, how are you?
Ed. Quite well, thanks. But now, if you don't mind, I will just finish.
[Turns to go on with his article.
Ob. Vis. (rejecting the hint). I said to myself as I came along, Now I will look him up.
Ed. Very kind of you, but—
Ob. Vis. Oh, not in the least; and you know, my dear fellow, how I enjoy a chat.
Ed. Yes,—and I, too. But just now—
Ob. Vis. Quite so. You want me to do all the talking, as we haven't met for the last three weeks. Well, you must know we have been to Herne Bay, and—
Ed. Yes; charming place. But just now I am—
Ob. Vis. Quite so. But I didn't come to tell you about Herne Bay, although it is really a delightful spot. The air—
Ed. Yes, I know all about it. First-rate, most salubrious, and the rest of it. But, my dear friend, you really must—
Ob. Vis. Quite so! Yes, everyone knows all about Herne Bay; and I really came to ask you if you had any room for an article.
Ed. (roused). My dear fellow, I assure you we are quite full for months. Any number of excellent things standing over.
Ob. Vis. Oh, yes, I know you are always full. You told me so the last time I called.
Ed. Quite so! Very sorry, but it can't be helped. Have to look so far ahead nowadays, you know.
Ob. Vis. Certainly; and that is why I thought I would just bring a half-finished article and show you what I had dome, and complete it if you thought it would do. You can put it in whenever you like; so it would not hurt for standing over.
Ed. (with inspiration). What is it called?
Ob. Vis. "Russian Wheat and Chinese Tea or Free Trade in Australia." The subject is quite novel, and ought to attract considerable attention.
Ed. Novel! Why, my dear fellow, I do believe I have an article somewhere in that heap upon the very subject.
[Pretends to search pile of MS.
Ob. Vis. (uneasily). Oh, never mind. I will read you what I have written, and—
Ed. (genially). Oh, no, I won't give you the trouble. I will read you what he has written, and then you can see.—Ah, here it is!
[Produces enormous pile of MS.
Ob. Vis. (hesitating). Well, perhaps, if you don't mind—
[Suddenly remembers an appointment and exit. Editor resumes hit work with an air of triumph. Curtain.
THE THIEF'S MOTTO.—"Take things quietly."
Jones. "HOW IS IT WE SEE YOU SO SELDOM AT THE CLUB NOW?"
Old Member. "AH, WELL, YOU SEE, I'M NOT SO YOUNG AS I WAS; AND I'VE HAD A GOOD DEAL OF WORRY LATELY; AND SO, WHAT WITH ONE THING AND ANOTHER, I'VE GROWN RATHER FOND OF MY OWN SOCIETY."
Jones. "EPICURE!"