No. IX.—"IN THE MORNING."
The Music-hall Muse, if not exactly impeccably moral, is, at least, good at moralising. Not only to topers, Totties, larky Benedicts and spreeish servant-maids, is there pregnant meaning in the warning words "But oh! what a difference in the morning!!!" As may thus—pace "NORTON ATKINS" and "FELIX MCGLENNON"—be made manifest:—
AIR—"In the Morning!"
I'd sing of the singular triumphs we see,
At night, at night!
In Politics, Pleasure, Love, Art, L.S.D.,
At night, at night!
The "Johnnies" of Sport and the "Oof-birds" of Cash,
The Statesmen who shine, and the Beauties who mash,
Are in champagny spirits and cut quite a dash,
At night, at night!
But oh! don't their hearts ache,
In the morning?
Then cometh disillusion and self-scorning.
Things look their natural size
Unto hot awaking eyes,
For no gingerbread is gilded,
In the morning!
A Premier potent may perorate free,
At night, at night!
And pretty Primrosers will shout and agree,
At night, at night!
He'll say those brave Orangemen Home Rule will quash,
He'll hint that raised Tariffs trade rivals must smash,
And his eloquence sounds neither rabid nor rash,
At night, at night!
But oh! what a difference
In the morning!
He vows he merely meant a friendly warning,
But fuss and fad 'twill boom.
And his colleagues growl with gloom
O'er the "Times" upon their tables,
In the morning!
Observe what the Specials call "News of the Day"
At night, at night!
The Dalziel Telegrams startle, and slay,
At night, at night!
There's war in the East, or the CZAR is laid low,
Financiers have failed—Fifty Millions or so!—
Or they've found Jack the Ripper in far Jericho,
At night, at night!
But oh, what a difference
In the morning!
Those Latest Wires were lies, small facts adorning.
"It is not as we stated,
For the cable's mutilated,"
And "we hear 'tis contradicted"
In the morning!
Regard the young Clerk who's been out for the day,
At night, at night!
First to the Derby, and then to the play,
At night, at night!
He "spotted a winner" at twenty to one,
His winnings will far more than pay for his fun;
He's happy, free-handed, and "sure as a gun,"
At night, at night!
But oh, what a difference
In the morning!
The bookie bolts, his "gaffer" gives him warning,
He's not worth half-a-dollar,
His prospect's "out of collar,"
And he curses speculation
In the morning!
Behold the young playwright who hears his own piece,
At night, at night!
He thinks that (ironic) applause will ne'er cease,
At night, at night!
His "little one-act thing" is stodgy and slow,
But the Pit is good-natured, the youth's in a glow,
And he thinks—with some "cuts"—it will be "a great go,"
At night, at night!
But oh, what a difference
In the morning!
The critics call the thing "an awful warning,"
They "guy," and sneer, and scoff,
And his bantling's taken off,
"To make room for some old farce, Sir!"
In the morning!