THE LATEST TRADE OUTRAGE!
(Scene from the New and Unpopular Sensation Drama of "The Monopoly-Monster and the Maid Forlorn.")
["A large number of complaints have reached the Board of Trade with regard to increase in the new rates adopted by Railway Companies as from January 1 ... among other complaints of increase of rates for the conveyance of milk, grain, hay and other agricultural produce, firewood, live stock, coal and coke, iron and hardware."—Sir Courtenay Boyle to the Secretary of the Railway Companies Association.]
Oh! who'll bring a rescue or two to the help of a much-injured Maid,
Thus cruelly bound hand and foot, and by miscreants ruthlessly laid
On the lines, in the Pathway of Peril? The Monster snorts nearer! Bohoo!
'Tis a Melodrame-crisis of danger!—and who'll bring a rescue or two?
The Maid (British Trade), has been harried and hunted by villains and robbers,
By bold, bad, black-masked foreign foes, and by home-bred monopolist jobbers.
In town or in country alike the poor dear has been chevied and chased.
By rivals deceitful and dark, and by kindred deboshed and debased.
She once was a proud reigning beauty, who now is a maid all forlorn,
As hopeless and helpless, and tearful as Ruth midst the alien corn.
Or poor Proserpine snatched by dark Pluto afar from the day and the light;
Torn away—like this maiden—from Ceres, and wrapt—like this maiden—in night.
Perchance she was just a bit haughty in virginal safety and pride;
No rival too near her high throne, Prince Fortunio aye at her side;
But now a poor Perdita, prone at the feet of her foes she lies bound,
And that melodramatic thud-thud draweth near—a most menacing sound!
Ah! sure 'twas enough to deprive the Maid of Protection, her trust!
But this is the last straw of burden that bows her poor back to the dust.
That Monster should be her sworn henchman, and now she lies bound in his path!
Oh! where is the hero who'll rush to her rescue, in chivalrous wrath?
Such champion always turns up—on the stage! Chaplin, Winchilsea, Boyle,
Howard-Vincent & Co., here's your chance. Shall she be that big Monster's mere spoil?
Ah! Surely the Maid is too lovely to leave to the murderous crew
Of the Monster Monopoly's myrmidons! Who'll bring a rescue or two?