MISCHIEF!
["As regards Home Rule, I did not, of course, say that there were only three Home-Rulers in the world—Mr. Gladstone, Mr. Morley, and myself. I said that ... there were no stronger Home-Rulers, except myself, than Mr. Gladstone and Mr. Morley in Parliament."—Mr. H. Labouchere, in a Letter to the "Times."
"Monkeys and parrots show much analogy in character and habits; they both possess extraordinary powers of imitation, which they exercise in copying man and his peculiarities. Monkeys 'take off' his gestures, and parrots his speech."—Napier's "Book of Nature and Man."
Oh, a merry mime was Jacko!
He could wink, and whiff tobacco,
Like a man (an artful homo) and a brother.
And the Parrot—ah! for patter,
And capacity for chatter
On—no matter much what matter,
That gave scope for clitter-clatter,
The world could hardly furnish such another.
The Parrot was a bird
That could talk great bosh with gravity;
The Ape could be absurd
With an air of solemn suavity;
And which to take most seriously, when the mimes were both on show,
There were ill-conditioned scoffers who declared they did not know.
"I am very sure," said Jacko, and he twitched his tail with glee,
"That the only serious creatures in the country are 'We Three'—
You, Polly, honest Jack (an Irish House-dog), and Myself!"
(Here he pulled poor Poll's tail-feathers hard, and capered like an elf.)
Poll held on to his perch, he'd much tenacity of claw,
But performed, involuntarily a sort of sharp see-saw,
And he snorted and looked down
With a very beaky frown,
And his round orb grew as red as any carrot.
"'We Three'? your Twelfth-Night tag
Is mere thrasonic brag.
Tschutt! You'll make my tail a rag!
Wish you wouldn't pull and drag
At my feathers in that way!" cried the Parrot.
Chuckled Jacko, "This is prime!
What a dickens of a time
(Like the Parrot and the Monkey in the story)
We shall have! Teach you, no doubt,
Not to leave poor Jacko out
Next time when you are ladling round the glory.
I might share with honest Jack
If of yielding I'd the knack,
Or would stoop to play the flatterer or the flunkey.
Pretty Poll! It is my pride
To assist you—from outside!
And I hope you're duly grateful," said the Monkey.
"I perceive," cried Pretty Polly,
"It's all right, and awfully jolly!
But if you think to pull me from my perch
By the tail, you are mistaken.
Simian tricks will leave unshaken
My hold, though I may seem to sway or lurch.
A bird who knows his book
Can afford to cock a snook
At a chatterer who intrigueth against his chief.
'We Three'? You quote the Clown;
And you play him! Yes, I own
Pretty Poll may be pulled down,
But I do not think 'twill be by Monkey 'Mischief!'"