"ALL'S WELL!"
A DUET.
Re-arranged (for Lion and Bear) after Dibden.
["Several Russian newspapers publish articles ... declaring that an Anglo-Russian understanding would be of enormous advantage to the respective interests of the two nations, besides promoting European peace."—Times.]
Spoken.
Russian Bear (with effusion). Now this is really delightful!
British Lion (cordially). Most charming, I'm sure!
R. Bear. What I've longed for for ages!
B. Lion. What I've wished for centuries!
R. Bear. Strange how long we have been separated by pure prejudice!
B. Lion. Though our respective dens are so conveniently situated for mutual calls, and genial interchange of love and liquor!
R. Bear. Why, I like you immensely, now I see you near.
B. Lion. And I'm enormously taken with you, at close quarters.
R. Bear. You have little of the Lion but its magnanimous courage.
B. Lion. And you have nothing of the Bear but its skin.
R. Bear. The kind things you have been saying about me lately have quite touched me.
B. Lion. Don't mention it. You deserved 'em all. Delighted to render any little civilities to a near neighbour, especially in time of trouble.
R. Bear (much moved). A thousand thanks! Leo! Let me embrace you. No longer afraid of my hug, are you?
B. Lion. Not a bit of it! Oh! this is something like a "Russian Advance!!!"
R. Bear. And this is indeed a right "British Greeting!!!"
B. Lion (aside). Wonder what the Gallic Chanticleer thinks of this!
R. Bear (aside). Fancy the Teutonic Eagle eyes us a leetle jealously.
B. Lion (aloud). Well, let us meet often, Bruin, and talk things over amicably.
R. Bear (aloud). We will, Leo, we will. Ah! what a pity we didn't know each other before!
B. Lion. Yes, indeed. However, All's well that ends well!
R. Bear. "All's Well!" Ah! Cue for song! Let us warble!
They sing:—
Converted (rather late than soon), We peace proclaim,—thrice blessed boon! We meet, as friends, on common ground; On sentry go no more tramp round; And should our footsteps haply stray, Where treaties mark the warded way,— "Who goes there?"— Stranger quickly tell,— "A friend!" "The word!" "Comrades!" "All's Well!"
Or, steaming on the briny deep, Watch each on each we scarce need keep From off the ironclad's steel deck, Lest mutual foes meet common wreck. Lord, no! If a strange hull draw near, A friendly voice salutes each ear. "What cheer?"— Ho, brother, quickly tell!— "Above!" "Below!" "Messmates!" "All's Well!!!"
1st Singer (crescendo). A-a-a-a-a-bove!
2nd Singer (diminuendo). Be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-LOW!!
Tutti (fortissimo). A-a-a-a-ll's Well!!!
["So mote it be!" adds Mr. P.]