WHAT WE MAY EXPECT SOON.
By Our Own Wire.—Dispute broken out between local employer of labour—Shoemaker with two apprentices—and his hands. One apprentice won't work with t'other. Shoemaker locked out both.
Later News.—Dispute developing. Amalgamated Association of Trade Unions sent fifty thousand men with rifles into town. Also park of artillery. Arbitration suggested.
Special Telegram.—Federated Society of Masters occupying Market Place and principal streets with Gatling guns. Expresses itself willing to accept Arbitration in principle.
A Day After.—Conflicts to-day between opposing forces. Streets resemble battle-field. Authorities announce—"will shortly act with vigour." Enrolled ten extra policemen. Police, including extra ten, captured by rioters, and locked up in their own cells. Business—except of undertakers—at standstill.
Latest Developments.—More conflicts, deaths, outrages, incendiarism. Central Government telegraphs to Shoemaker to take back both apprentices to stop disastrous disorder. No reply. Shoemaker and both apprentices been killed in riots.
Close of the Struggle.—Stock of gunpowder exhausted. Both sides inclined to accept compromise. Board of Conciliation formed. Survivors of employers and employed shake hands. Town irretrievably ruined, but peace firmly re-established.
What! Already!—"I'm afraid," said Mrs. R., "that the new Tower Bridge is in a bad way. I hear it said, of course I do not know with what truth, that it has 'bascules.' Now weren't they the insects that destroyed the crops one year and gave so many persons the influenza? I think you'll find I'm right."
Epigrammatic Description, by a Billiard Player, of the selection of the Chief Minstrel to be the Recipient of a Prize at the recent Eisteddfod.—"Spot Bard."
Accidents in our rottenest Rotten Row.—The sooner the cause (i.e. Rotten Row itself) of the numerous complaints is well grounded, the better for the equestrians.
National Reflection (suggested by recent Yacht-Race).—It is of small use Britannia being Britannia unless she be also Vigilant.