IF NOT, WHY NOT?
["Sarah Grand has contributed an article on 'Should irascible Old Gentlemen be taught to Knit?' to the forthcoming issue of 'Phil May's Winter Annual.'"—Evening paper, October 2.]
This will shortly be followed by a series of papers on the following subjects:—"Shall hysterical Old Ladies be encouraged to smoke?"
"Should elderly, short-tempered Dowagers be permitted to use bad language?"
"Shall Octogenarian Barmaids be obliged to flirt?"
"May decayed Duchesses play pitch-and-toss?"
"Shall Professional Beauties of a certain age be compulsorily retired?"
"Are Burlesque Actresses of over forty years' standing to attend Sunday-school?"
"May Ballet-girls teach their grand-children to knit?"
"Should cross-eyed Viscountesses catch flies?"
"Ought Old Girls generally to make use of slang?"
"Should Prima donnas in their dotage wear blue pinafores?"
"Can the 'Shirt-front Brigade' be taught 'good form'?"
"May Lady Novelists dispense with the historic present?"
"Should much-married Adventuresses read The Family Herald?
"May timid Gentlewomen join the Pioneer Club?"
And "Is not the New Woman played out?"
A BACKWARD CROP.
Young Mr. Green (who wants a Hunter for the coming Season). "Ya—as; but he's got such a Seedy Tail!"
Dealer. "Seedy? Ah, that's it! Just germinatin', it is. Want o' Sunshine, yer see. Lor' bless y', things is mostly bin a bit backard this Season!"