IN THE AIR IN 1940.
["Wars of the future will be waged in the air...cities will be laid waste in a night."—Press.]
April 20, 1940.—Liberia, in a moment of Ministerial exuberance, sends a Note to China alleging the death of a Krooboy subject who had been forced to study the Chinese language. An indemnity of £100,000,000 is asked.
April 22.—China, mildly surprised, promises investigation. Owing to an oversight, however, the reply is sent in Chinese characters, which gives the Liberians a just casus belli.
April 23.—Liberia despatches her one airship to China viâ Tibet. Many bombs are dropped on the Chinese Empire and several rice-fields are quite spoilt. The Chinese Ambassador, whom the airship conveyed from Liberia, is also dropped—and spoilt.
April 24.—China sends four airships to bomb Liberia. These, however, are unable to locate the Black Republic and return, after dispensing with the company of the Liberian Ambassador while over Lake Chad.
April 26.—China addresses a curt Note to Liberia, requesting her to be good enough to state her exact whereabouts.
May 1.—The Grand Lama directs a plaintive Note to Liberia, alleging that on April 23 a Liberian airship violated the neutrality of Tibet.
May 3.—Liberia, never having heard of Tibet, but believing the G.L. to be a species of camel and a great fetish, publishes an apology in The Liberian Times (and Advertiser), which, however, does not circulate in Tibet.
May 4.—China, after exhaustive inquiries, despatches another air-fleet, but again fails to locate her quarry.
May 5.—Liberia again raids China by air. Some stones in the Great Wall are badly chipped.
May 7.—Liberia issues her first official communiqué through the medium of The Liberian Times (and Advertiser):—"On the night of May 5-6 our Naval and Military airship attacked the Chinese cities of Pekin, Hankow and others too intricate of pronunciation to be mentioned here. Incendiary and explosive bombs were dropped on the fortifications, gun emplacements, waterworks and waxworks at Pekin. A battery and many hens were silenced at Hankow. Our entire air-fleet returned safely and hurriedly."
May 9.—The G.L. of Tibet sends another Note to Liberia, protesting against a further grave infringement of neutrality, several eggs of dubious quality and the remnants of an unsavoury stew having been dropped from a Liberian airship on Tibetan territory on the night of May 5-6.
May 11.—Liberia publishes another apology, and sacks her air chef.
May 13.—Two squadrons of Chinese airships scour the globe but cannot find Liberia. Several are forced to land in the Arctic Circle and are interned by the Esquimaux.
May 15.—The G.L. of Tibet sends another Note to Liberia.
May 16.—Liberia, owing to a paper shortage, makes no reply.
May 17.—Liberia adopts the Group System.
May 18.—Introduction of "starring and badging" in Liberia. Owing to a slight miscalculation all trades and professions are "reserved."
May 19.—Liberia abandons Group System.
May 24.—Liberia again despatches her airship to China viâ Tibet. The raider falls in flames near the Forbidden City, the commander having been rather careless with his cigar in one of the gas chambers.
May 25.—The G.L. of Tibet buys a typewriter and some carbon sheets, and begins a campaign of daily Notes to Liberia.
May 26-June 5.—Liberia lies low.
June 7.—China, after fifteen futile attempts to locate Liberia, sues for peace, asking Liberia to send an envoy who will be able to guide airships carrying Peace delegates and the first instalment of indemnity to Liberia.
July 12.—Ten Chinese airships, loaded with Peace delegates and money, and piloted by the Liberian envoy, travel to the Black Republic. Arrived over the much-sought country, the Peace delegates drop their pilot and aid the airships' crews in wiping Liberia off the face of the earth.
July 14.—The G.L. of Tibet disposes of his typewriter at a considerable loss.