Shakspeare on Daylight Saving.
"It shall be what o'clock I say it is."
Taming of the Shrew, Act iv. Sc. 3.
THE GOLDEN MOMENT.
Erin (to Mr. Redmond and Sir Edward Carson). "COME, MY FRIENDS, YOU'RE BOTH IRISHMEN; WHY NOT BURY THE HATCHET——IN THE VITALS OF THE COMMON ENEMY?"
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT
PARLIAMENTARY PILADEX—THE LATEST GAME AT WESTMINSTER.
Introduced to Messrs. Balfour and Tennant by Messers. Churchill, Joynson-Hicks and Pemberton-Billing.
Monday, May 15th.—The continued absence of Mr. Asquith is causing much speculation in the Lobbies. Will the new Irish Privy Councillor come back from Dublin, like Lord Beaconsfield from Berlin, bringing peace with honour in his pack? Or will he, as so many British statesmen have done before, find the inherited hostility of Irishmen to one another an insuperable obstacle? An hon. and learned Nationalist was not encouraging. "When," he was asked, "were the seeds of this trouble sown?" "When Sthrongbow came to Ireland," was the answer. "And when do you think it will be over?" persisted the questioner. "When the world's at an end."
Last Session Mr. King was easily the champion of Question-time. But this year, thanks to the Sinn Feiners, Mr. Ginnell is coming up with a rush. Mr. King has however one consolation. Mr. Ginnell rarely extracts much information from Ministers; often it is nothing more than "There is no foundation for the allegation contained in the question." Whereas his rival, whose queries cover a much wider field, frequently elicits important facts. Like the rest of the world he has been puzzled by the coloured tabs now so commonly seen on officers' tunics. What did they mean? Mr. Tennant for once was communicative. "I think," he said, "green stands for intelligence." Mr. King is now more regretful than ever that he is over military age; the green badge would just suit his mental complexion.
Ever since the Military Service Bill came under discussion the public galleries have been full of men in khaki. As it seems difficult to believe that their presence is due to the intrinsic fascination of debates, which have been for the most part insufferably dull, another theory has been started. Should the opponents of the Bill become too obstructive and threaten its passage, will these doughty warriors leap over the barriers, drop down on to the floor of the House (in the manner already made historic this Session) and execute a new "Pride's Purge"?
A rather unkind trick was played upon the Simonites by Mr. Barnes. He has a good deal of influence with the Government nowadays, and when he delivered an eloquent defence of conscientious objectors, describing them as the men who kept the spiritual fires burning, there were high hopes that he was going to secure an enlargement of the loopholes in the Bill. But as he went on to explain that his remarks only applied to genuine cases and had nothing to do with the shoal of frauds who had discovered a conscience within the last month or two, the enthusiasm below the Gangway fell so suddenly that you could almost hear it drop.
Tuesday, May 16th.—To invite the House of Lords to go in for daylight saving is rather like carrying coals to Newcastle. The Peers habitually set an excellent example in this respect. No matter what the importance of the subject under consideration they almost invariably manage to conclude its discussion before the dinner-hour.
Some of Lord Lansdowne's friends are beginning to fear that association with wicked Radicals like Lord Crewe is having a deteriorating effect upon his political faith. They were shocked to hear him allude almost disparagingly to the innate conservatism of the national temperament, which put Greenwich mean time on the same level as the Thirty-nine Articles. He even spoke disrespectfully of the sun, to the marked disapproval of that other shining light, Lord Salisbury.
In the Commons the Simonites made a determined effort to get the minimum age raised from 18 to 19. But Mr. Long was obdurate, though he promised that, subject to exceptional military necessity, no conscript should be sent abroad till he was 19. Eventually the Bill passed its Third Reading by 250 to 35.
A characteristically bitter speech from Mr. Snowden evoked an appropriate retort from Sir Arthur Markham. Observing that the Hon. Member had been against the War throughout, he charged him with "making vitriolic speeches and dropping acid drops in every direction." Mr. Snowden (remembering the case of Mr. John Burns) may think himself lucky if he is not known as "The Acid Drop" for the rest of his political career.
Wednesday, May 17th.—The Summer Time Bill passed into law to-day, in spite of the gloomy prognostications of Lord Balfour of Burleigh. He foresaw the time when the Committee of Privileges might be called upon to pronounce a new judgment of Solomon on the question whether a peerage should go to a boy born at 2.50 A.M. on October 1st or to his twin-brother, born actually half-an-hour later, but according to statutory time half-an-hour before.
While the Lords were illuminating the daylight the Commons were engaged in ventilating the air. The present administration of the Flying Services was severely criticised by Mr. Joynson-Hicks, who wanted an Air Minister—not Lord Curzon, but "someone with a reputation to lose." Mr. Tennant promptly announced that the ex-Viceroy of India would be President of the new Air Board.
Colonel Churchill launched into a lengthy history of the Air Services, from which we gathered that but for the exertions of a former First Lord, who used to divert money voted for hospitals and coastguard stations to the building of aeroplanes, the country would have had no aerial defences when the War broke out. He joined in the demand for an Air Ministry. In fact, he had himself proposed it to the Prime Minister a year ago. It is possible that he even indicated a suitable person to fill the post.
Before the War it was sometimes said of Lord Hugh Cecil that his Parliamentary speeches were too much up in the clouds. Since he has taken to exploring those regions as a member of the Royal Flying Corps, that criticism no longer applies. In a severely practical speech he flatly contradicted the accusations that had been made against our Air Service, and boldly claimed that it was the most efficient in the world.
After that, Mr. Bonar Law had a comparatively easy task in persuading the House to give the new Air Board a fair trial. In reference to the fears that had been expressed as to the powers to be accorded to its President he drily remarked that from his experience in the Cabinet he did not think Lord Curzon would be found lacking in personality.
All through the afternoon Mr. Pemberton-Billing had been popping up with questions, interjections and points of order. Now he rose to continue the debate, but Members had apparently had enough of him for one day. After a few minutes he suffered the most inglorious fate that can befall a Parliamentary crusader. One by one his audience melted away, until there was not enough left to make a House. "P. B." was counted out.
Thursday, May 18th.—Lord Lansdowne at least is not afraid of the new Order in Council prohibiting reference to Cabinet proceedings. In answer to complaints of the delay in introducing Compulsory Service he told the old story of the widow who married a widower, and complained to a friend that "his children are always fighting with my children and frightening our children." That, he implied, was what went on in the Coalition.
The Commons enjoyed a pretty little duel between two old friends. Ex-Professor Hewins delivered a long lecture on elementary economics, leading up to the conclusion that we could not beat the Germans without an immediate dose of Tariff Reform. The House, expecting an equally solemn defence of Free Trade from the Chancellor of the Exchequer, was at once surprised and delighted when Mr. Chamberlain rose to reply.
Though tied to the Tariff movement "by my heart-strings as well as by my head," he thought it would be imprudent to embark on it at this moment. After the War it would very likely meet with general consent. Mr. Hewins must have felt like Alice with "jam yesterday, and jam to-morrow, but never jam to-day."
DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE;
Or, The Rival Commissionaires.
"Recollect that night—you an' me an' ole Turniptops wiv 'is mouth-organ in the Whitechapel Road?"
"Not 'arf I don't."
"Well, 'ow did that tune go?"