ULTIMUS.

His shape was domed and his colour brown,

And I took him up and I get him down

In the lamp's full light, in the very front of it,

Ready and glad to bear the brunt of it;

And then, having raised my hand and blessed him,

I thus in appropriate words addressed him:—

"Oh, soon to be numbered with the dead,

Your fortunate brothers, prepare," I said,

"Prepare to vanish this very day

And go to your doom the silent way.

For DEVONPORT's Lord will soon decree,

With his eye on you and his eye on me,

That you're only a useless luxury;

And, since the War on the whole continues,

We must tighten our belts and brace our sinews,

And give up the things we liked before,

And never, like Oliver, ask for more.

Since this is so and the War endures,

I am bound to abandon you and yours,

And wherever I meet you I must frown

On your sweet white core and your coat of brown.

But no, since you are the only one,

The last of a line that is spent and done,

I shall give myself pleasure once again

And set you free from a life of pain.

Prepare, prepare, for I mean to punch you,

My lonely friend, and to crunch and munch you."

So saying I smiled in a sort of dream

On my absolute ultimate chocolate-cream;

Then swiftly I reached my hand to get him

And popped him into my mouth and ate him.


First Burglar. "THEY SEEM TO BE JUST FINDING OUT THERE'S TOO MANY DOGS ABOUT. WOT PEOPLE WANT TO KEEP DOGS AT ALL FOR I NEVER COULD SEE."

Second Burglar. "COMB 'EM OUT. THAT'S WOT I SEZ. COMB 'EM OUT."