OUR NEW ARMY OF WOMEN.
From Adjutant to O.C. A Company.
Your return of trained Bombers not yet to hand. Please expedite.
(Did you see O.C. B Company's hat at church parade last Sunday? Isn't it positively the outside edge?)
ELIZABETH TUDOR JONES,
Mrs. and Adjutant.
Second-Lieut. Darling to Adjutant.
I should be obliged if I could have leave from next Tuesday, as otherwise I shall not be able to attend the sales, and my Sam Browne is quite the dowdiest in tho whole battalion.
JOAN DARLING,
Second-Lieut.
O.C. Signallers to Quartermaster.
Lance-Corporal Flapper of this section has been charged for bottle, scent, one. In view of the fact that this N.C.O. has not been supplied with bottle since joining this unit I take it that such will be a free issue.
EMMA PIPP,
Lieut.
O.C. A Company to Quartermaster.
Please note fact that the boots, khaki suède uppers, pair, one, issued yesterday to 21537 Private B. Prig, are not supplied with regulation Louis-Quinze heels. The boots are therefore herewith returned.
BOADICEA BLUNT.
Capt. O.C. A Coy.
From O.C. B Company to O.C. D Company.
Herewith A.F. 26511, with cheque for pay of 2773, Private O. Jones, B Company, attached D Company, for your attention and necessary action, please.
(Have you heard the absolutely latest? The Major is engaged, and she has asked O.C. C Company and the Quartermaster to be bridesmaids! Not that I wanted to take it on. But think of poor dear O.C. C! Won't she look too-too?)
MILDRED NORTON,
Capt. O.C. B Coy.
From Adjutant to Lieut. S.O. Marshall.
Please note that you are detailed as a member of a Board of Survey, which assembles at these Headquarters on January 31st for the purpose of inquiring into the circumstances whereby box, powder, face, one, on charge of this unit, became used up suddenly. The Quartermaster will arrange for the necessary witnesses to attend, and the proceedings will be forwarded to the Adjutant in triplicate.
Our Military Experts.
"The invasion of Switzerland ... if accomplished rapidly and with luck, would involve a threat to the French left and to the communications with Italy."—Pall Mall Gazette.
Our own Military Expert is of opinion that the invasion of Holland would in very much the same way threaten the British right and our communications with Scotland.
"The use of barkless dogs, songless cats and whispering parrots is advocated in Philadelphia, following on recent announcements from the battlefields of Europe that 'brayless' mules have been perfected for trench and other battle-front labours by a simple operation on the nostrils and the nerves affecting the vocal cords."—Daily Paper.
Why not speechless Presidents?