TO THE GERMAN MILITARY PICTURE DEPARTMENT.

[The enemy, in his turn, is exhibiting a film of the fighting on the Somme. At the close a statement is thrown upon the screen to the effect that the Germans have "reached the appointed goal.">[

On footer fields two goals are situated,

One, as a rule, at either end:

This for attack (in front) is indicated,

And this (to rearward) you defend;

In your remark projected on the screen

You don't say which you mean.

If you refer to ours in that ambiguous

And filmy phrase, why then you lie;

And if to yours—we hope to be contiguous

To our objective by-and-by,

But for the present, though the end is sure,

Your statement's premature.

In fact—to follow up the sporting image

In which you "reach the appointed goal"—

With many a loose and many a tight-packed scrimmage

Forward and back the fight will roll,

Ere with a shattering rush we cross your line

(This represents the Rhine).

Meanwhile, when you observe your team is tiring,

And wish the call of Time were blown,

To Mr. WILSON, where he stands umpiring

Gratuitously on his own,

You'll look (as drowning men will clutch a straw)

To make the thing a draw.

Pity you've broken all the rules, for this'll

Spoil WOODROW'S programme when at last,

Not having checked those breaches with his whistle,

He wants to blow the final blast;

Time will be called, I fancy, when the score

Suits us, and not before.

O.S.