I.
From Fred Golightly, comedian, to Sinclair Voyle, dramatic critic.
DEAR VOYLE,—I am not one ordinarily to take any notice of remarks that are overheard and reported to me; but there are exceptions to every rule and I am making one now. I was told this evening by a mutual friend and fellow-member that at the Buskin Club, after lunch to-day, in the presence of a number of men, you said that the trouble with me was that I had no sense of humour.
Considering my standing as a comedian, hitherto earning high salaries and occupying the place I do solely by virtue of my comic gifts (as the Press and Public unanimously agree), this disparagement from a man wielding as much power as you do is very damaging. Managers hearing of it as your honest opinion might fight shy of me.
I therefore ask you to withdraw the criticism with as much publicity as it had when you defamed me by making it.
Why you should have made it at all I can't imagine, for I have often seen you laughing in your stall, and we have been friends for many years.
Believe me, yours sincerely but sorrowfully, FRED GOLIGHTLY.
II.
From Sinclair Voyle, dramatic critic, to Fred Golightly, comedian.
DEAR GOLIGHTLY,—You have been misinformed. I didn't say you had no sense of humour; I said you had no sense of honour.
Yours faithfully, SINCLAIR VOYLE.
III.
From Fred Golightly, comedian, to Sinclair Voyle, dramatic critic.
DEAR OLD CHAP,—You can't think how glad I am to have your disclaimer. I disliked having to write to you as I did, after so many years of good fellowship, but you must admit that I had some provocation. It is a pretty serious thing for a man in my position to be publicly singled out by a man in yours as being without a sense of humour. However, your explanation puts everything right, and all's well that ends well. Yours as ever, FRED.
"PEACE CRANKS AND CROOKS."—Evening Standard.
The right hon. Member for Woolwich objects. He has nothing whatever to do with Ramsayites.