CONVERSIONS.
There was an exuberant flapper
Who made people anxious to slap her;
She uttered loud squeals
And she smoked at all meals;
Now she's married an elderly sapper.
There was a mild don who was muddy
In mind and complexion by study;
Now he flies fast and far,
With a cross and a bar,
And his face and his language are ruddy.
"BRITISH FRONT REINFORCED.
"BY PERCIVAL PHILLIPS."
Daily Paper.
Intrepid fellows, our war correspondents. What a pity there are so few of them!
"A long, keen dagger will be supplied to every American infantryman going to France. This weapon will be fitted into one of the fighting men's leggings when he goes into action, so he will have something to fall back on should his bayonet fail."—Canadian Paper.
If he's going to fall back on it, we hope the sharp end won't be at the top.
The Sub. "I SAY, SERGEANT-MAJOR, DO YOU REALISE THAT THAT CHAP WITH THE BARROW IS A MEMBER OF AN ARCHÆOLOGICAL SOCIETY?"
The Sergeant-Major. "WELL, SIR, 'E MAY BE WHAT YOU SAY. PERSONALLY I'VE ALWAYS FOUND 'IM QUIET AND WELL-BE'AVED."