THEATRICAL CORRESPONDENCE
SUPPLYING ONE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION, "WHY DOES A DRAMATIST GROW OLD SOONER THAN ANYONE ELSE?"
From G. Sheridan Smith, author, to Sir James Benfield, actor-manager.
Dear Sir,—Herewith I am forwarding a copy of an original three-act comedy, entitled, Men and Munitions. As the interest is largely topical I should he much obliged if you could let me have your verdict upon it with as little delay as possible.
Faithfully yours,
G. SHERIDAN SMITH.
From the Same to his friend, Buskin Browne, actor.
Dear B.B.,—By this post I am sending my new comedy, Men and Munitions, to your manager, whom I believe it should suit. If an occasion served for you to put in a word about it without too much trouble, I should be eternally grateful.
Yours ever, G.S.S.
From Buskin Browne, in answer.
My Dear Man,—With all the pleasure in life. I fancy we're changing our bill shortly, and, as farce is all the rage just now, I'll boom your Munition Mad directly I get a chance. Best of luck.
Yours, BEE-BEE.
From G. Sheridan Smith, in reply. A telegram.
Thousand thanks play called men and munitions comedy not farce.
From the Same to the Same, six weeks later.
Dear B.B.,—I hate to trouble you, but as I've heard nothing yet from the management about my comedy I am writing to ask if you can give me any idea of Sir J.B.'s intentions regarding it. Did he say anything that you dare repeat?
Yours, G.S.S.
From Buskin Browne, in answer, a fortnight later.
Dear old Boy,—No chance as yet, as the chief has been away ill. But he comes back on Saturday, when I will mention the farce to him without fail.
Yours "while this machine is to him," BEE-BEE.
From G. Sheridan Smith, to Sir James Benfield, a month later.
Dear Sir,—I was profoundly grieved to learn from a mutual friend that you had been so long on the sick list. Now, however, that you are at work again, and (I trust) fully restored to health, may I hope for a verdict upon my comedy, Men and Munitions, at your earliest convenience?
With warmest congratulations,
I am, Faithfully yours,
G. SHERIDAN SMITH.
From Sir James Benfield's Secretary, in answer, a week later.
Dear Sir,—Sir James Benfield desires me to acknowledge your letter, and to inform you that he has been away ill, and unable to attend to any correspondence.
Faithfully yours,
BASIL VYNE-PETHERINGTON,
Secretary.
From Buskin Browne to G. Sheridan Smith.
Dear old Man,—I heard unofficially last night that your farce has had a quite top-hole report from the reader, and might be put on almost at once. Ça marche! Anything for me in it?
B.B.
From Basil Vyne-Petherington to G. Sheridan Smith, by same post as above.
Dear Sir,—In answer to your inquiry we can trace no record of the receipt of any MS. from you. If you will kindly let me have particulars, name of play, date when forwarded, etc., the matter shall receive further attention.
Faithfully yours,
BASIL VYNE-PETHERINGTON,
Secretary.
From G. Sheridan Smith, in answer. A telegram.
Men and munitions comedy fourteen weeks ago kindly wire reply paid.
Reply to above. A telegram.
No trace comedy entitled fourteen weeks suggest inquire post-office.
Reply to above.
Name of comedy men and munitions reply paid urgent.
Reply to above.
Your play returned last week.
Reply to above.
Nothing arrived here please look again.
From Basil Vyne-Petherington to G. Sheridan Smith.
Dear Sir,—In returning herewith your blank-verse tragedy, Hadrian, I am desired by Sir James Benfield to thank you for kindly allowing him the opportunity of reading it.
Faithfully yours,
BASIL VYNE-PETHERINGTON,
Secretary.
From Buskin Browne to G. Sheridan Smith.
Dear old Boy,—The A.S.M. told me to-day that our backers won't look at farce, though the chief simply loves yours. So I'm afraid we can only say better luck next time.
Yours disappointed,
B.B.
From Basil Vyne-Petherington to G. Sheridan Smith, five weeks later.
Dear Sir,—Sir James Benfield has been interested to learn that you have written a comedy of topical interest, called (he understands) The Munitioneer. Should you care to forward it for his consideration he would be pleased to read it, and, if suitable, to arrange for its production at this theatre.
Faithfully yours,
BASIL VYNE-PETHERINGTON,
Secretary.
From G. Sheridan Smith, in reply. A telegram.
Where did you get a name like that?
From Basil Vyne-Petherington, in final answer, a month later.
Sir,—I am requested by Sir James Benfield to state that he has been compelled to make a rule never to send his autograph to strangers.
Yours faithfully,
BASIL VYNE-PETHERINGTON,
Secretary.