The Food Shortage.
Letter received by a schoolteacher:—
"Dear Miss,—Will you please let Sam out about 20 minutes to 12 o'clock. His Granma is undergoing an operation this morning and I want Sam for dinner.
Yours truly, Mrs. ——."
From a report of the British Music Convention:—
"'How the British piano can raise the trade to Imperil dignity' was the subject of an address."—Scotsman.
We hope the British piano will resist the temptation.
"Portobello's dressing boxes for lady bathers are practically ready. There are fifteen boxes at the Band Stand enclosure, very much resembling ballot boxes in size, shape, and material."—Edinburgh Evening Dispatch.
A happy thought to prepare the new voters for taking the plunge.
"The members of the Cabinet occupied specially reserved seats in the choir and lectern, where also the Lord Mayor was seated."—Scotsman.
A little hard on the eagle.
From a cinema advertisement:—
"Actual Scenes of our Local Charming Cheddar Valley and the Beautiful West of England Coast Scenery, also predicting those Glorious Sunset Scenes that made Sir Alfred Turner 'famous.'"—West Country Paper.
The General will be pleased.
"To-day the weather has cleared, but the record according to a correspondent who, signing himself the 'oldest inhabitant,' has recently written to the press, stating that in 1178 there was snow on Simla on 14th April, has now been easily beaten."—Rangoon Times.
The oldest inhabitant, however, is still undefeated.