II.
(The Ophir Gold Pantomime Syndicate issues its Preliminary Instructions for the Production of its Annual Pantomime.)
PRELIMINARY INSTRUCTIONS.
O.G.P.S. 42/B/26.
November 20th, 1919.
1. General Outline.
It is the intention of the Ophir Gold Pantomime Syndicate to attack and capture the Public Favour on the night of the 26/27 December, 1919.
As foreshadowed in the preliminary Press Notices (which will be issued later) the production will outstrip all previous productions both in wit and splendour.
The Preliminary Bombardment will be carried out by Press Agents of all calibres.
The General Scheme will be as laid down in the West-End Managers' Standard Formation of Pantomimes.
Zero time will probably be at 7 P.M.
If the operation is successful it will be repeated daily until further (fortnight's) notice, and every endeavour will be made to exploit the success to the full.
2. Advertisements.
No opportunity for advertisement will be neglected.
Advance Agents will reconnoitre the ground thoroughly and secure the best hoardings available.
The Leading Lady will lose her jewels not later than 4 P.M. on December 22nd. "Q." will arrange for the necessary publicity.
3. Chorus.
Will consist of One Section Blondes and Brunettes, One Section Petites and One Section "Stunners" (see Standard Formation, para. 3a). Category "B" will be at the back. Category "B" of last year's Chorus will be transferred to the Pantomime Employment Company.
4. Scenery.
The S.E. (Scenic Engineers) will co-operate by improvising new scenery out of last year's production as far as possible.
5. Discipline.
The stage-manager will be responsible for the strictest discipline being maintained during performances, and will put up a barrage of invective at the slightest signs of slackness.
6. Intelligence.
Ground observers will be sent out to note the effect of the comedians' gags upon the audience. They will report any impropriety at once to the Manager, who will at once take steps to improve upon it.
7. Police.
Special Mounted Police will assist the doorkeeper to collect all stragglers at the Stage Door and will cause them to be returned to their paternal units (if their credentials are not satisfactory).
8. Dressing-rooms.
Disputes over dressing-rooms will be arranged between the artistes concerned.
9. Artistes.
The Fairy Queen will be specially employed to create a diversion while the Palace Scene is being set behind.
The Demon King will put a few heavies across in the Grotto Scene.
The Eight Aerial Girlies (under the direction of the O.C. Flying Corps de Ballet) will make a personal reconnaissance of the front rows of the Stalls in "The Fairies' Bower" Scene.
The eyes of the Chorus will be worn in the "alert" position during performances.
10. Principals.
Artistes will submit for approval not later than the 10th December the details of their songs and dances. Comedians will also submit their "gags" and comic scenes for blue-pencilling. This is merely a matter of form and the strictest secrecy as to their real intentions will be preserved in order that the principle of "springing it on one another" should be maintained.
If twenty people are found in the bar during a comedian's turn he is liable to summary dismissal.
Cross-talk Machine Fun Fire will be under direction of O.C. Gags.
11. Music.
Choruses and incidentals will be original. That is to say, they will be taken from last year's MSS. and the crotchets moved up one space and the quavers down one space.
12. Rehearsals.
A hot meal will be served after midnight rehearsals and taxis will be provided for those who care to pay for them. "Q" will arrange.
13. The Audience.
Hostile retaliation is not anticipated, but arrangements will be made to deal summarily with any counterattack. O.C. Chuckers-Out will arrange.
14. Organisation.
The goodwill and earnest co-operation of all are solicited to achieve the success which will be advantageous to all, especially to the philanthropic Directors, who are poor men and cannot really afford it.
Issued at 4 p.m.
Copies to:—
All Concerned.
(Signed) Etc., etc., etc.