THE ABSENTEE.
(Embodying divers quotations from the poems of G.K.C.)
Methinks at last the time has come to speak ...
Since good old Russia up and revoluted
I have been waiting, week by weary week,
To hear the news—the obvious item—bruited;
But now I give it up; it will not come;
Or anyway I can no more be dumb.
Where were you, GILBERT, when the great release—
"Freedom in arms, the riding and the routing,"
Demos superbly potting at police,
And actual swords getting an actual outing—
Came at the last, the things wherein you shone,
Or let us think you'd shine in, CHESTERTON?
You were not there! Damme, you were not there!
Alas for us whose faith refused to doubt you!
"All that lost riot that you did not share"
Managed, somehow, to get along without you;
When Russia "went to battle for the creed"
GILBERT sat tight and did not even bleed!
CHESTERTON! Dash it all, my dear old chap!
Why, weren't you always eloquent on "Valmy,"
"Death and the splendour of the scarlet cap"?
Here were the days you looked upon as palmy.
Just think of all your poems! Why, good Lord,
There is no word you work so hard as "sword."
We looked to see you there, the stout and staunch,
"Red flag" in one hand and "ten swords" in t'other;
Saw the strong sword-belt bursting from your paunch;
Pitied the foes you'd fall upon and smother;
Heard you make droves of pale policemen bleat,
Running amok to "slay them in the street."
Strong athwart Heav'n ran the high barricades,
And giant Bastilles reeled, impossibly smitten,
And men with broken hands swung thunderous blades
In "Russia's wrath"—just as you've often written;
Yea, the terrific tyrants really reeled,
While CHESTERTON sat safe at Beaconsfield.
And yet—I understand; I don't impute
That only in your poems do you bicker;
You would abstain, when people revolute,
No more, I'm sure, than you'd abstain from liquor;
And here we have it—here's the reason why:
This was a revolution that was "dry."
The Eagle's Plume.
"The bride, who is an American by birth, was given away by her feather."—Liverpool Daily Post.
"Mr., Mrs. and Miss ——, who were in their bungalow at Sidbar, had a lucky escape from the earthquake recently, for no sooner had they ot out than gpractically the whole house cae mdown."—Pioneer (Allahabad).
On this occasion, contrary to the usual rule, Nature appears to have been more careful of the individual than of the type.
"You, too, reader, if you have not already visited ——'s, have a pleasant, bright happy experience before you. Why not visit this modern Forum to-morrow?"—"Callisthenes" in the evening papers, June 23rd.
One of our reasons for not taking this well-meant advice was that June 24th was a Sunday.
"Great fires continue in Germany. The latest include gutting of the Moabit Goods Station in Berlin wherein tanks of petrol, hydrogen, et cetera, exploded, resulting in the destruction of a part of Vilna and the township of Osjory near the Grodno conflagration station and a basket factory at Happe."—Ceylon Independent.
The effect of this remarkably extensive explosion seems to have been felt even in Colombo.