Our Pampered "Conchies."
"There was a long and interesting debate on the imprisonment of conscientious objectors in the House of Lords."—The Times.
This beats Donington Hall to a frazzle.
"Teachers will welcome the resolution deploring 'the omission from the Bill of any limitation upon the size of classics.'"—Teacher's World.
Their pupils are believed to hold a diametrically opposite opinion.
After the Guildhall Banquet:—
"Some had black leather bags, some had aprons. Others had nothing at all and staggered off with a conglomeration of beef, pie, and turtle soup tucked up under their arms."—Weekly Dispatch.
The menu said "Clear Soup," but this must have been a bit thick.
Sandy (on departure of peace-crank, who has been holding forth). "MAN, HE'S A QUEER CARD, THAT. THINK YE HE'S A' THERE, DONALD?"
Donald. "DOD, SANDY, IF WHAT'S NO THERE IS LIKE WHAT IS THERE, IT'S JUST AS WEEL HE'S NO A' THERE."
LEGAL INTELLIGENCE.
DAVID LLOYD GEORGE, described as Prime Minister, was charged, on the information of HERBERT HENRY ASQUITH, with exceeding the speech limit while on tour. Mr. BONAR LAW, who appeared for the defendant, asked for an adjournment and invited the Court to "wait and see." Upon hearing those words prosecutor broke down and had to be assisted out of the court.
HORATIO BOTTOMLEY pleaded "Not guilty" to a charge of fortune-telling. It appears that the defendant had stated that the War would be over by Christmas. For the defence it was stated that the defendant had not specified which Christmas, and even so if he had said so it was so. Defendant asked for a remand to enable him to dispense with legal assistance.
RESULT OF THE FOOD SHORTAGE?
"Exchange new gold full plate, seven teeth, for good brown skin hearthrug."—The Lady.
From the police-notice re air-raid warnings:—
"When the car has two occupants one might concentrate on whistling and calling out 'Take Cover.'"
As his own won't be enough he should borrow the other occupant's mouth.