THE INNOCENTS ABROAD.
["Stedfastness and righteousness are the qualities which the German people value in the highest degree, and which have brought it a good and honourable reputation in the whole world. When we make experiments in lies and deception, intrigue and low cunning, we suffer hopeless and brutal failure. Our lies are coarse and improbable, our ambiguity is pitiful simplicity. The history of the War proves this by a hundred examples. When our enemies poured all these things upon us like a hailstorm, and we convinced ourselves of the effectiveness of such tactics, we tried to imitate them. But these tactics will not fit the German. We are rough but moral, we are credulous but honest."—Herr DERNBURG, in "Deutsche Politik."]
In Eden bowers, so fair to see,
There dwelt, when sin was yet to be,
A guileless Serpent up a tree,
Sniffing the virgin breezes;
Till EVE (the huzzy!), one fine day,
With evil purpose came his way,
And led that simple worm astray
By low and wicked wheezes.
A Wolf there was, quite sweet and good,
Till in his path Red Riding-Hood
Went camouflaging through the wood—
A brazen little terror;
Large teeth she had and bulgy eyes
And told the most amazing lies,
And taught him, in a flowery guise,
The downward route to error.
Of Fritz's nature, fresh as morn,
Pure as a babe that's just been born,
Clean as a poodle lately-shorn,
These are symbolic samples;
The Wolf unversed in specious vice,
The Serpent with a taste as nice
As anything in Paradise—
Debauched by bad examples.
England seduced us. 'Neath her spell,
Mistress of lies, we fell and fell
Into the poisoned sink, or well,
Of faked and fabulous rumour;
And there, as we were bound to do,
We failed, because we loved the True,
And loathed the False as alien to
Our artless German humour.
I speak as one who ought to know;
Myself I tried a trick or so
In U.S.A. and had to go,
Looking absurdly silly;
And now against us, big with fate,
That Hemisphere has thrown its weight,
Both North and South (though up to date
We haven't heard from Chili).
Laughter we've earned—a noble shame!
Built to achieve a higher aim,
We honest Huns can't play the game
Of shifty propaganders;
Henceforth we'd better all get back
On to the straight and righteous track
And help our HINDENBURG to hack
(If not too late) through Flanders.
O.S.
"Red heels were much in evidence, both Lady D—— and Lady C—— affected them, and they were to be seen in other unexpected places."—Observer.
Certainly their use as ornaments in the small of the back surprised us a good deal.