THE MIDGET.
As a result of the competition in cheap miniature two-seater cars we anticipate several interesting developments and take the liberty of extracting the following items from the newspapers of the future:—
FOR SALE.—Small two-seater car, fit gentleman five feet eleven inches in height. Forty-two inches round the chest. Only been worn a few times.
Why pay a thousand pounds for a large car when you can get the same result with one of our hundred-pound Midget Cars? Our Midgets are trained to make a noise like a six-seater touring car. We undertake that you shall get the Park Lane feeling at suburban rates. Write for a free sample, enclosing six penny stamps for postage.
One great attraction in the Midget Car is that you need not use a rug to throw over its bonnet in cold weather. A tea-cosy will do.
WHAT OFFERS?—Advertiser, breaking up his collection, will sell his stud of tame mice, two goldfish and several obsolete silkworms, or would exchange for two-seater Midget with spanner.
DEAR SIR.—I have a small two-seater car. It is quite a young one. At what age can I start feeding it on greenstuff? SMITH, MINOR.
PERSONAL.—Will the individual who was driving a Midget Car which ran over old gentleman in the Strand be good enough to come forward and pay for the watch-glass which he cracked?
BE ECONOMICAL.—Our Midgets only smell the petrol. It costs no more to run a Midget than it does to run an automatic pipe-lighter.
To the Midget Motor Car Company.
GENTLEMEN,—With reference to the Midget Car you measured me for recently, I ought to have mentioned that I wanted patch pockets on the outside, in which to carry the tools. Yours, etc.
FOR SALE.—Owner whose two-seater car is a trifle tight under the arms wishes to dispose of his pair of white spats.
"Prince Eitel Fritz has been telling the Germans that his father, the ex-Kaiser, is now 'legally' dead. We must get rid of that adjective without delay."—John Bull.
"If you see it in John Bull ..." Grammarians please note.
"CHRIST CHURCH, ——.—Wanted at once, for definitely Protestant Evangelical Church, light-minded colleague to share ministry."—Record.
A chance for our demobilised humorists.
