THE PAY-TABLE.

"JOHN SMITH, A.B., THREE POUNDS TEN—IN DEBT."

"Wanted, half-governess for boy aged nine, girl aged six; wages £30 per year."—Morning Post.

A half-governess is, we suppose, the feminine equivalent of two quartermasters.


"Lady Nurse, nursery college trained, wanted, under 34; very experienced babies."—Provincial Paper.

Perhaps they will know too much for her.


"Will gentleman, navy mackintosh, who spoke to lady, blue hat, vicinity Park Station, Tuesday, 6 o'clock, speak again same time?"—Liverpool Echo.

The gentleman will doubtless beg a ride on Mr. H.G. WELLS'S "Time Machine" in order to get back in time for the appointment.


[Sir WILLIAM BEVERIDGE. K.O.B., has been appointed Permanent Secretary to the Ministry of Food.]

To skimp its daily bread for beer

Was not this nation's mood;

But now with lightened hearts we hear

That BEVERIDGE turns to Food.