THE EXODUS
.
Like the last rose of Summer
I'm left quite alone;
All my blooming companions
To Paris are flown—
Three daughters, two brothers,
Two sons and a niece
Have all gone to Paris
To speed up the Peace.
'Tis just the same story
Wherever I go,
There's hardly a soul left
For running the show—
Five thousand officials,
Not counting police,
Have all gone to Paris
To speed up the Peace.
There's calm in the City,
A hush in Whitehall—
A thousand fair typists
Have answered the call.
Henceforward their clicking
In London will cease—
They've all gone to Paris
To speed up the Peace.
P.S.
An expert accountant.
Has worked out the cost
Of the keep of officials
Who've recently crossed.
It must be Three Millions;
Mayhap 'twill increase
If the delegates dally
In speeding up Peace.
"THE THAMES RISING.
"LONDON MILK SUPPLY THREATENED."—Pall Mall Gazette.
A surprising change of affairs.
"Sprats in South London are 2½ lb. a lb."—Continental Daily Mail.
This may explain why our fishmonger's price is 2½ shillings a shillingsworth.
"The story of an ingenious robbery by three young boys was told to the Stockport magistrates to-day.
"The magistrates ordered them to receive the birch, usual way.—Reuter."—Provincial Paper.
It was kind of Reuter to add this detail.
"It is understood an order has been issued for the demobilisation of men called to the Colours under the last Military Service Act after they had attained the age of 441."—Provincial Paper.
There can't be very many of them; still it is good to know that the authorities have made a beginning.
The Knight-Errant. "MY DEAR LADY, I HAVE THE HAPPINESS OF RESCUING YOU FROM A GREAT PERIL."
The Lady (indignantly). "HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME, SIR, WITHOUT A PROPER INTRODUCTION?"
The Knight-Errant. "MADAM, IF YOU HAD SPOKEN SOONER I WOULD HAVE ASKED OUR FRIEND HERE TO FULFIL THAT NECESSARY SOCIAL OBLIGATION."