THE NEXT WAR.
["As the result of a conference called by the War Office it has been decided to wage a war of annihilation against the warble-fly. It is hoped that by means of concerted action through the country this pestilent insect, so injurious to the hides of horses and cattle, may be completely stamped out."—Daily Paper.]
The warble-fly, the warble-fly
Is absolutely doomed to die.
They've summoned all the General Staff,
There's going to be a mighty "strafe,"
And soon the land from shore to shore
Will echo with the din of war,
As arméd hosts with martial cries
Descend upon the warble-flies.
We've got the shells, we've got the guns
(The same that overwhelmed the Huns),
And, what is more, we've got the Man;
With WINSTON riding in the van
I do not think there's any doubt
That we shall put the foe to rout,
And, scorning peace by compromise,
Annihilate the warble-flies.
In tranquil peace the gentle beeves
Shall chew their cud through summer eves;
No more shall that alarming warble
Affright the calm of heifer or bull,
And send them snorting round the croft
With eyes of fear and tails aloft.
Till every warble-fly be floored
Whitehall will never sheathe the sword.
The Growth of Impropriety.
"Her hair is always exquisitely dressed, and her shoes in perfect shape. No more in the way of dress is required of any woman."
Daily Mirror.
"PROPOSED IMPROVEMENT OF A DANGEROUS CORONER."
Headline in Provincial Paper.
The best plan, possibly, would be to get the jury to sit on him.
