THE COOK.
(With acknowledgments to TENNYSON and CALVERLEY.)
Urged by the Government, with loyal step
I to the Labour Bureau made my way
To find a cook; and there beheld a queen,
Tall, fair, arrayed in feathers and in fur
And all things beautiful. Whom when I saw,
"Madam," said I, "they tell me, who should know,
That you have skill of Mrs. Beeton's art.
If that be so—" She nodded "Yes," and I
Assumed a courage, though I had it not,
And spoke again: "Then tell me, if you will,
Of your experience and past career.
Whence come you?" And the cook—why not?—replied:
"I come from haunts of bomb and shell,
I've toyed with lathes and gauges,
I've sparkled out a sudden swell
With quite unheard-of wages.
"By thirty shops I've paused to buy
Silk stockings, skirts and undies,
In fifty stores I've sat to try
Smart tango boots for Sundays.
"Down Bond Street gaily would I float,
Buy chairs, pianos, tables,
With here and there a sealskin coat,
And here and there some sables.
"I'd slip, I'd slide, I'd jazz, I'd glide,
I'd fox-trot, one- and two-step,
And show with pardonable pride
My skill at every new step.
"I'd dance until my soles wore raw,
When, tired of dissipation,
I'd lie in bed whole weeks and draw
My out-of-work donation.
"And when that palled I'd rise to see
What fortunes cooks are earning,
And how the ladies long for me
With dumb pathetic yearning.
"I flit about, I skip, I roam
Through houses past the telling,
Through many a stately ducal home,
And many a Mayfair dwelling.
"I chatter in the servants' hall,
I make a sudden sally,
And with the parlourmaid I brawl
Or bicker with the valet.
"I murmur under moon and stars
With blue and khaki lovers,
I linger in resplendent bars
With golden taxi shuvvers.
"But out again I come and know
That Fate will fail me never,
For wars may come and wars may go,
But cooks go on for ever."
"SUN ECLIPSE IN MAY.
WIRELESS OPERATORS' HELP ASKED."
Daily Paper.
We ought all to put our shoulders to the wheel and make this Victory Eclipse a big thing.
"All the Lumpkins are clever and some of them are brilliant.... The head of the family, Lord Durham, is an exceptionally ready and witty man."—The Globe.
Readers of GOLDSMITH may suggest that Anthony Lumpkin, Esq., was not a brilliant Lumpkin; but it may well be that he was only distantly connected with that branch of the family from which Lord DURHAM traces his descent. In this connection a correspondent suggests the following train of thought: Lambton—Lambkin—Lump(ofcoal)kin.
"We stand at the noon of the greatest day the world has seen, with all the hideous darkness of the night behind and all the glory of the dawn before."
Mr. Arthur MEE in "Lloyd's News."
It looks as if the dawn would be a day late.
