ROYAL ACADEMY-SECOND DEPRESSIONS.

The Despatch-Bearer. "EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT THE QUEEN IS HERE. YOU ARE REQUESTED TO MAKE AS LITTLE NOISE AS POSSIBLE, AND, ABOVE ALL, NO BLOODSHED."

Bothwell (to Mary, Queen of Scots). "IF YOU WOULD DEIGN TO TURN YOUR HEAD A LITTLE, DEAR MADAM, YOU WILL FIND THAT THE BATTLE IS OVER HERE."

The Cheshire Cat. "I NEVER GET TIRED OF THIS STORY ABOUT DICK WHITTINGTON."

The Profiteer's Wife (sadly). "POOR WILLIAM HASN'T BEEN HIMSELF SINCE ARMISTICE DAY."

The Man (listening to the lark and quoting the poet). "UP WITH ME, UP WITH ME INTO THE CLOUDS."

The Lady. "OH, JOHN, LET US STAY HERE. I DON'T FEEL IN AN AVIATING MOOD TO-DAY."

MISS WINNIE WENDOVER SELECTS HER COSTUMES FOR THE NEW REVUE. THE CHARMING AND TYPICALLY ENGLISH ACTRESS IN HER DELIGHTFUL TURKISH BUNGALOW NEAR STAINES.

The Spoilt Beauty. "WHAT ROTTEN LUCK! I SIMPLY DAREN'T GO JAZZING WITH THIS BLACK EYE!"

"THE SCRAP OF PAPER." Both (mentally). "WHAT A FINE DRAMATIC SUBJECT THIS WOULD MAKE FOR AN ACADEMY PICTURE!"

Billiard-marker (awed by rank of visitor—a foreign prince who has joined in a game of pool). "SHOULD I CALL 'IM 'YER ROYAL 'IGHNESS, SIR, OR 'SPOT YALLER'?"