A SUPER-SURPRISE.
I have not seen the stalking
By a rabbit of a bear,
Nor yet an oyster walking
Sedately up the stair;
But a marvel as amazing
Inspires these doggerel rhymes,
For I've read a leader praising
The Premier in The Times.
A House-Warming.
"Considerable damage was done by fire at —— Cottage on Wednesday evening. The stairs, part of the floor, doors, furniture, etc., were destroyed.
—— presided at the piano, and Mrs. —— presided over the refreshments. 'God save the King' was sung at the close of the enjoyable day."—Local Paper.
The Labour "Council of Action" have kindly stated that they are "content to leave the French Government to the French people." They are however reserving the right to leave the British Government to the Bolshevists.
"We must repeat the Scots proverb that—'Delays are dangerous.'"—Sunday Paper.
Or, as Dryden says in his Address to a Haggis, "De'il tak' the hindmost."
"The proportion of sane to insane persons in civilized countries is about one to 300."—Canadian Paper.
Surely Carlyle said something very like this years ago.
Commercial Candour.
"Raincoats at less than cost price last 3 days."—Advert. in Provincial Paper.
"Lady has Left-off Clothing; privately."—Provincial Paper.
Of course. That goes without saying.
Trainer (to Irish apprentice who has finished among the "also ran"). "Why didn't you hang on to the favourite? Didn't I tell you you were the only one he was afraid of."
Apprentice. "That's just it, sorr. 'Twas the way he was so afraid of me, whin we came into the straight, he just fled away from me."