THE ROMANCE OF ADVERTISEMENT.
The following items, culled from recent issues of The Daily Lure, show where you should go to find really interesting, stimulating and flat-catching notices:—
Partner, with not less than five thousand pounds, wanted for a wild-duck farm in the island of Mull. Must be a man of iron constitution; Gaelic speaker and teetotaler preferred.
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Wanted, a cheap Desert Island, with a good water-supply and home comforts, by a Georgian poet weary of the racket of Hammersmith.
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Complete suits of armour, guaranteed bottle-proof, ten guineas each, suitable for elderly pedestrians in charabanc areas.
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Madame Bogolubov, Crystal-gazer in ordinary to the ex-King Constantine, is prepared for a small fee to advise intending explorers, prospectors or treasure-seekers as to suitable spots for excavation, oil-boring, etc.
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Disused Martello Tower on the Irish coast, fifty miles from a police barrack, offered cheap as an appropriate basis of observation to psychic enthusiasts anxious to study the ways of leprechauns, banshees, etc.
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Genuine portraits by Van Dyck, Velasquez and Rembrandt must be sold immediately to pay a debt of honour. Price thirty shillings each, or would take part payment in pre-war whisky.
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Semi-paralysed Yugo-Slav professor, speaking seventeen languages, will give lessons to neo-plutocrats in the correct pronunciation of the names of all the foreign singers, dancers and artists performing or exhibiting in London.
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Persons interested in edible fungi may be glad to take shares in a fungus plantation about to be started in the neighbourhood of Toller Porcorum, Dorchester.